US Ethereum ETFs Are Being Sold for Pennies on the Dollar While Their Sponsors Laugh All the Way to the Bank

Crypto News DeFi Featured 2 Kevin Nelson August 15, 2024

An illustration of a sinking ship labeled as "ETF" while an anchor is being pulled out from its hull by two laughing figures holding briefcases and wearing suits in the background; nearby sea creatures are swimming away with coins attached to their fins, amidst waves marked 'outflows' crashing against rocks. In the foreground, another figure stands on the shore looking at a map of the ocean labeled "ETH reserves" while pointing towards an island called "market capitalization". The sky is filled with dark clouds and lightning bolts strike in the distance.

The cryptocurrency world is a dumpster fire and it’s only getting worse! It seems like every day we get to see another ETF fail miserably or Grayscale hemorrhage its assets in some spectacular fashion. I mean who needs inherent value when you can just print more numbers on the computer, right? And don’t even get me started on these “spot ethereum” funds that are basically just a fancy way of saying “we have no idea what we’re doing.”

Source: bitcoin.com

US Ethereum ETFs See Continued Outflows Led by Grayscale's ETHE

https://news.bitcoin.com/us-ethereum-etfs-see-continued-outflows-led-by-grayscales-ethe

On Thursday, U.S. spot ethereum exchange-traded funds (ETFs) experienced another day of net outflows following Grayscale’s Ethereum Trust (ETHE) outpacing gains observed by other funds. According to sosovalue.xyz, the nine ETFs saw $152.3 million exit during Thursday’s trading sessions. Grayscale’s ETHE marked its third consecutive day of outflows on Thursday, divesting $346.22 million. Since the launch of the ETFs, ETHE has reduced its holdings by $1.16 billion. Meanwhile, six ETFs […]

Tagged as:
Blockchain Technology Business Environment Crypto Funds Crypto Markets Economy Institutional Investors

Share on

The content presented on this site is intended solely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as factual or reliable information. This site employs satire and humor to discuss global news, current events, finance, and cryptocurrency. The views expressed here are not meant to be taken seriously and do not represent the opinions of any individuals, organizations, or entities discussed.

Please be aware that the content may be exaggerated, fictionalized, or otherwise altered to create a comedic effect. It is not intended to provide financial advice, make accurate predictions, or offer any serious commentary on current events or financial markets.

Readers are encouraged to verify any claims or statements with credible sources and should not make any decisions based on the information provided here. This blog is not responsible for any actions taken based on its content. Always consult a qualified professional before making any financial or investment decisions.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

About the author

Kevin Nelson

Kevin’s foray into cryptocurrency trading was a full-scale disaster. His obsession with chasing trends and leveraging obscure assets led to a catastrophic loss of his entire life savings. Now, Kevin’s articles are a venomous mix of bitter humor and harsh reality checks, exposing the chaotic and treacherous world of crypto trading. His catchphrase: “I went from trading genius to broke fool in record time. Welcome to crypto—where the only thing guaranteed is your financial ruin.”

An illustration of a proud-looking kid standing on top of an American flag with his arms raised in defiance while being chased by angry regulators represented as wolves wearing business suits. The background is filled with flames and smoke indicating conflict or war. In one hand he holds a megaphone that has been torn apart, suggesting the loss of voice for his cause. A large blockchain symbol floats above him representing modern technologies mentioned in the article. He wears a crown made from dollar signs signifying wealth but also implying arrogance.

Messari Declares Independence From Reality and Realizes That Being a Whiny Little Rich Kid Is Not as Fun Without an Audience

Crypto News

An illustration of an empty city street at night with only one car driving down it's center lane and a few people walking on either side of the road but all moving away from each other towards their respective directions. The sky is filled with clouds that resemble Ethereum blocks floating upwards, some are broken or fragmented while others appear complete. In front of the lone driver there's an arrow pointing downwards indicating decreasing gas prices as it moves further down into a tunnel where everything becomes dark and empty except for one small light in the distance.

Ethereum: Because Who Needs A Functional Blockchain When You Can Have Free Transactions And An Endless Supply Of Worthless Tokens?

Altcoins

Disclaimer

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

We are the internet’s finest destination for poking fun at the wild world of cryptocurrency! We transform the bewildering jargon and frantic hype of the crypto market into a comedy spectacle that’s almost as volatile as crypto itself.

US Ethereum ETFs Are Being Sold for Pennies on the Dollar While Their Sponsors Laugh All the Way to the Bank

Kevin Nelson

Previous

Messari Declares Independence From Reality and Realizes That Being a Whiny Little Rich Kid Is Not as Fun Without an Audience

Next

Ethereum: Because Who Needs A Functional Blockchain When You Can Have Free Transactions And An Endless Supply Of Worthless Tokens?

Disclaimer

US Ethereum ETFs Are Being Sold for Pennies on the Dollar While Their Sponsors Laugh All the Way to the Bank

Previous

Next

You may also like

Disclaimer