Wall Street Archives - Cryptobro Magazine

An illustration of an endless spiral vortex with various cryptocurrencies trapped inside it at different levels. The currencies are depicted as colorful balls that have lost their shape and size due to being stuck for so long. Some of them appear broken or fragmented while others seem intact but frozen in time, unable to escape the gravitational pull of the vortex. In the center of the spiral is a large void where one can see fragments of tokens with negative price impact scattered around it.

Hacked Cryptocurrencies Forever Stuck in Vortex of Eternal Pricelessness

The crypto bros are at it again! They can't even secure their own little toys. It's like they expect us all to just sit back and […]

Doug Martinez August 22, 2024

An illustration of the dollar bill with its face torn off and fleeing in fear from an explosion marked by red flames and smoke rising above it; a broken chain is seen at the bottom, releasing coins that are scattering away like confetti; nearby, various economic indicators such as inflation rates, interest yields, and stock market indices are shown on screens displaying downward trends. In the background, Tokyo's skyline can be seen with buildings marked by red lights indicating alarm or warning signals. The overall atmosphere is one of chaos and panic.

Crypto News

Dollar Sucks So Hard Now That Even the Most Basic Economic Concept Is Enough to Make It Flee for Cover

Another day another dollar drop! The world is finally realizing that the US economy isn't as rock solid as everyone thought it was. And what's causing […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

Crypto News

Crypto Investors Are About to Get Ripped Off Again

The latest market shock has Wall Street sounding alarm bells about a potential AI bubble burst that might spell disaster for crypto AI projects

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

An illustration of an old-fashioned hot air balloon rising into the sky with digital currency symbols (ETH) floating away from it in all directions while being chased by a flock of birds representing institutional investors and asset managers; below them lies a cityscape, but buildings are replaced with cryptic financial charts. The balloon is labeled as "Blackrock's New ETHA ETF" and has an arrow pointing upwards to indicate growth. In the background, there is a faint image of Grayscale’s ETHE fund being left behind in its wake.

Crypto News

Blackrock’s New ETHA ETF: Because Who Needs Actual Wealth When You Can Have Digital Hot Air?

Well well well! Looks like more suckers are about to throw their money into digital "assets" that have no inherent value and are created from thin […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a giant roulette wheel spinning out of control on top of Moscow Exchange building with money flying everywhere and people running away from it while St Petersburg Exchange building stands nearby looking calm, as if ready to handle the chaos. The scene is set at night under bright moonlight with stars shining in the sky above. In the foreground, there are scattered banknotes and coins amidst broken glass and debris. A faint image of a cryptocurrency symbol can be seen on one of the flying money pieces.

Crypto News

Russia About to Let You Lose All Your Money in One Convenient Location

Russia wants you all to know it's serious about blockchain now! I mean who wouldn't want their country associated with endless speculation and potential losses, right? […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a suited financial advisor standing in front of an open briefcase overflowing with dollar bills while looking at the viewer through binoculars. In the background is a cityscape with skyscrapers and people walking on streets but all are blurred out except for one person holding a smartphone showing a bitcoin price chart, who stands still amidst chaos.

Crypto News

Morgan Stanley’s Army of Bitcoin Peddlers Descends Upon Unsuspecting Millionaires Next Week

Oh joy! The financial wizards at Morgan Stanley have finally decided that they can make a quick buck by peddling Bitcoin to the gullible masses. Congratulations […]

Sam Rogers August 15, 2024

An illustration of an index chart with multiple lines representing different cryptocurrencies (SPX, DXY, BTC, ETH, BNB, SOL, XRP, DOGE, TON, ADA) moving in various directions; some are rising while others are falling. The background is dark blue and the lines have varying colors to distinguish between each cryptocurrency. A few arrows point upwards indicating buying pressure on certain cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin (BTC), Ethereum (ETH), BNB, Solana (SOL). Other arrows pointing downwards indicate selling pressure on XRP, Dogecoin (DOGE) and Cardano (ADA).

Altcoins

IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN: Cryptocurrency Prices Plummet into Oblivion for the 473rd Time This Year – Is It Even Worth Waking Up to Check?

The never-ending saga of cryptocurrency's attempt to be taken seriously continues! It seems like every week is Groundhog Day for Bitcoin and its altcoin friends - […]

Barry Thompson August 15, 2024

An illustration of an upward trending line with green arrows on top of a downward sloping graph representing Ether's price drop; in the background, nine small buildings are rising while one is sinking. The scene takes place at sunset over water with waves splashing against rocks below. A large sun sets behind the buildings casting long shadows across them. In the foreground, several coins and dollar bills float upwards towards the trend line as if being drawn to it.

Altcoins

Crypto Investors Still Throwing Money At Ether Etfs Like They’Re Trying To Set Their Wallets On Fire

The never-ending farce of cryptocurrency investing continues! It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion - you can't look away even though you know the […]

Barry Thompson August 15, 2024

An illustration of a rollercoaster with steep drops and slow climbs on a track that represents price fluctuations. The coaster car is shown stuck between two hills at an inflection point where it could either continue to climb or drop back down. A few loose coins are scattered around the base of one hill, symbolizing lost momentum. In the background, there's a faint image of a chart with lines and waves that resemble Elliot wave theory patterns. The overall atmosphere is tense, reflecting the uncertainty in Solana's price action.

Altcoins

Solana (Sol) Price Down Today Because You’Re All Finally Realizing That Cryptocurrency Is A Scam And It’S About Time

You want me to write about why Solana (SOL) price dropped today? Well let's get this straight; it's because people are finally realizing that cryptocurrency is […]

Barry Thompson August 15, 2024

An illustration showing an internet router under attack by swarming birds, with some routers on fire. The background is dark grey with white sparks flying everywhere. In the foreground, two figures are trying to put out fires while others look worried or run away in panic. A large bird perches atop a working router, looking triumphant. Below it all lies an image of Donald Trump and Elon Musk shaking hands amidst flames, as if they're emerging from the chaos together. The illustration is done in bold lines with vibrant colors to convey energy and urgency. In the bottom right corner, there's a

Bitcoin

Musk Gets X Hit By Massive Ddos Attack Because We’Re Still Waiting For Him To Admit Dogecoin Is A Scam

The crypto bros are at it again, claiming that X is under attack by a massive DDoS. What's next? Are we going to believe the moon […]

Sam Rogers August 13, 2024

Wall Street

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