VanEck Archives - Cryptobro Magazine

A dark room filled with computer screens displaying various cryptocurrency and gaming websites. A lone gamer sits at a desk surrounded by empty pizza boxes and energy drink cans, eyes fixed on their screen as they play Off The Grid.

You Won’t Believe What Billionaire Investor Just Bet the Farm on – A Decadent World of Crypto-Porn and Virtual Loot

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Doug Martinez November 2, 2024

A illustration depicting a bespectacled financier sitting at a desk surrounded by screens displaying cryptocurrency prices and blockchain diagrams, while holding a briefcase overflowing with cash, symbolizing the 'wet dream' of crypto cartels being fulfilled.

Fintech Bro’s Wet Dream Come True: Vaneck Unleashes $30M Fund That’s Just More Money for Crypto Cartels

Fintech bros rejoice! Your precious Vaneck just launched a $30 million fund that's basically a never-ending supply of free money for crypto startups (and their lawyers). […]

Doug Martinez October 11, 2024

A crypto bro is shown standing on a cliff overlooking a cityscape with flames rising from his feet as he falls into a pit below, labeled 'Futures-Based Funds'. In the distance, a group of people are celebrating and holding up signs that read '$6.5 billion' in AUM for spot ETH ETFs.

Bitcoin

Crypto Brots’ Wet Dream Implodes! VanEck Kills Ethereum Futures ETF Because Nobody Actually Wants Fake Money!

The crypto bros are at it again! VanEck is shutting down its Ethereum futures-based ETF, citing a lack of demand and performance issues. And let's be […]

Sam Rogers September 9, 2024

An illustration of a judge's gavel resting on top of two scales, one side holding an image resembling Bitcoin and Ether while the other holds an image representing Solana. The background is filled with tiny images of My Big Coin tokens falling from above like raindrops onto the floor below where they are being swept away by brooms held by figures in business attire. A faint outline of a US flag can be seen on one side, near the scales holding Bitcoin and Ether. In the foreground, two opposing paths stretch out into the distance with signs reading "Commodity" and "Security".

Crypto News

The One ETF to Rule Them All: VanEck Exec Hopes 2018 Fraud Case Will Finally Make Your Solana Investments Worth Something

You know what? This is just more proof that cryptocurrency and blockchain technology are a joke, especially when it comes to these fancy-schmancy ETFs. I mean, […]

Sam Rogers August 22, 2024

Bitcoin

BlackRock’s iShares Ethereum Trust Somehow Manages to Suck in a Billion Dollars From People Who Probably Regret Buying It Now

It seems like BlackRock is trying hard to make us believe that people are actually interested in their Ether exchange-traded fund (ETF). But let's be real […]

Barry Thompson August 22, 2024

An illustration of a never-ending staircase with each step representing an ETF, leading up to a sign that reads "Solana" and has been partially torn away from its base; in the background, a cityscape is visible through broken windows. A figure at the top of the stairs looks down upon it all while holding onto a rope tied around their waist as they slide back towards the bottom step. The staircase's railings are made up of tiny dollar signs and coins that seem to be falling off into an abyss below, with some stuck in the cracks between steps.

Crypto News

VanEcks Never Ending Quest to Make You Lose Money in a Solana ETF Continues Unabated

Just when you thought it was safe to get back into cryptocurrency, VanEck comes along and reminds us all that Solana is still a thing. Because […]

Doug Martinez August 20, 2024

VanEck