Solana (SOL) Archives - Page 2 of 3

An illustration of two people, one in red and one in blue, standing back-to-back on top of a seesaw with Bitcoin price chart bars as weights at each end; their arms are stretched out wide holding onto opposite ends of the bar that connects them to prevent falling off while they stare intensely into space. The person in red is wearing a frown and has tears streaming down his face, indicating despair or sadness due to losing money on cryptocurrency investments. In contrast, the blue figure appears calm with an expressionless mask covering their emotions;

Crypto: Because Losing All Your Money Is the Best Investment Strategy Ever

Well, well, well! It seems like another day in crypto land where folks are just waiting for their lucky break or hoping that Bitcoin magically goes […]

Sam Rogers August 20, 2024

An illustration of an exasperated man with his head in hands sitting at a desk surrounded by scattered papers and empty coffee cups next to a computer screen displaying multiple pop-up windows showing various scam websites; he is wearing a suit but has undone the top button, indicating stress; on the wall behind him there are several screens displaying charts plummeting downwards. In the foreground of the illustration, his phone lies face down with an X app open and notifications flashing red as if hacked into by someone else.

Crypto News

Ava Labs CEO Loses Mind After Learning His Account Was Hacked by Someone Who Clearly Has More Crypto Than Him

It's not like we haven't seen it before - another cryptocurrency bro gets his Twitter (X) account hijacked and used for some dodgy pump-and-dump scheme. This […]

Doug Martinez August 20, 2024

Altcoins

COO’s Twitter Account Hacked Because Clearly That Was the Only Logical Next Step After Being Promoted to COO of a Cryptocurrency Company

The incompetence never ceases to amaze me! It's like these folks are begging to be robbed blind by hackers and scammers. A COO getting their account […]

Linda Williams August 19, 2024

An illustration of a cartoon dog wearing a top hat standing on a cliff overlooking a sea of flames with a price chart in the background showing a sharp decline, while another dog is seen falling into the distance below; above them, three peaks are visible forming an inverted head-and-shoulders pattern

Crypto News

Solana Sauce Not Enough: Dogwifhat WIF Implodes in Spectacular Display of Crypto Bro Folly

The never-ending saga of Dogwifhat's spectacular implosion! Who needs a functioning economy or actual value when you can just create a bunch of numbers on a […]

Linda Williams August 19, 2024

Altcoins

You Just Won’t Believe the Jaw-Dropping Price Swings of These 10 Utterly Meaningless Digital Tokens That Are Literally Worth Less Than a Sack of Potatoes

The thrill of watching a bunch of rich guys bet their money on digital tokens with no intrinsic value never gets old! It's like watching a […]

Kevin Nelson August 19, 2024

Altcoins

Tron Network Dominates Stablecoin Market Share Because Clearly We All Need More Ways to Lose Money Fast

The never-ending parade of Tron's "success" continues, and by success I mean a bunch of numbers on a computer that are being used to perpetuate yet […]

Kevin Nelson August 19, 2024

An illustration of a whale with an empty wallet and avocado toast on its plate being taken away from under its nose while another whale in the background holds onto a large stack of money bags looking satisfied. The scene takes place underwater near some Solana coins floating around, one coin has been caught by a fish that is swimming away holding it tight. In the distance there are several whales selling tokens on Coinbase and Binance exchanges with big red "Sold" signs above them while another whale buys Ethereum at OKX exchange with a green "Bought" sign over its head.

Altcoins

Solanas Whale Just Dumped $84 Million, Still Can’t Afford Avocado Toast on Coinbase

Oh boy, another day and more whales are dumping their Solana on us! You know what they say: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"... but […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of an astronaut floating above Earth's atmosphere with a parachute attached behind him; he is holding onto a large balloon labeled as 'Solana' while it inflates rapidly from being pierced by thousands of tiny arrows, each representing regulatory approvals. The background features various national flags waving gently in the wind and several other balloons drifting away into space.

Crypto News

Brazilian Regulators Approve Spot ETF for Solana Because Clearly That Was the Only Reason It Needed to Exist

Oh boy, here we go again! Another cryptocurrency trying to make it big by getting approved for a traditional investment product. I mean, who needs actual […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a cartoon piggy bank with its mouth wide open as it's being blown away by strong winds while holding onto several balloons labeled 'Bitcoin', 'ETF' and '$188 million'. The background is filled with falling coins. In the distance, an image of Morgan Stanley can be seen in flames surrounded by smoke. A faint outline of a calendar shows June 30th highlighted. At the bottom left corner, there's a small piggy bank lying on its side spilling out money while crying tears made from dollar signs.

Altcoins

Morgan Stanley Blows Entire 401k Fund on Bitcoin Trust Because Who Needs Retirement Anyway

The gullible idiots are at it again! Morgan Stanley has apparently decided that throwing a few hundred million dollars into BlackRock's Bitcoin Trust is a good […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

An illustration of an old man holding onto a rope that is being pulled away from him by two younger men in suits running towards the future with Zcash coins flying out behind them while he looks back at his declining price chart on the ground next to him. The background shows a cityscape with buildings and bridges connecting different networks, some of which are crumbling or destroyed as they fall into disrepair. In the distance, new modern skyscrapers rise from the ashes representing progress and innovation.

Crypto News

Zcash Founder Joins Shielded Labs, Because Clinging to Relevance After Being Delisted Is Still a Thing

Oh boy, here we go again! Zcash's founder is now pushing for a hybrid PoS upgrade because they're still trying to cling on after getting delisted […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of an old man sitting on a couch with his head in hands looking at a stack of worthless papers next to him; the background is dark grey with faint lines resembling broken chains; he's surrounded by empty bottles and trash, while outside through the window there are people running away from falling coins. The room has no windowsills or curtains but it looks like they were once present as evidenced by old nails in the wall where they used to be hung. In one corner of the image a faint light bulb is visible with its filament broken and hanging loose;

DeFi

Grayscale Launches Investment Fund for People Who Hate Themselves and Want to Lose All Their Money on Unproven Blockchain Nonsense

Oh boy, here we go again – another investment fund from Grayscale for the gullible masses who want to get in on the MakerDAO gravy train! […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration: A Brazilian flag-waving bull breaks free from a cage labeled with the words 'ETF' and 'Solana', charging towards an open gate marked 'Brazil'. In the background, other bulls are trapped behind locked gates. The sky is filled with rising arrows indicating growth while in the distance, a giant bear looms over the landscape of despair. A pennant-shaped ribbon flies above the bull's head bearing the number 200 and below it, another ribbon reads $145.

Crypto News

Brazil Poised to Launch World’s First Spot Solana ETF Into the Depths of Despair Where It Belongs

And here we go again with more crypto bro nonsense! A Brazilian ETF for a cryptocurrency that's been trading at an "all time low" (read: still […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration depicting an Ethereum blockchain as a highway system during rush hour with cars moving at different speeds; some are stuck in traffic while others speed by freely; the background shows varying gas prices displayed like road signs. In the foreground, two contrasting scenes: to the left, people waiting patiently for buses (representing retail users) and on the right, large trucks speeding past them unimpeded (symbolizing wholesale buyers).

Crypto News

Ethereum Gas Fees: Now Suddenly Too Low Because Apparently We Were All Just Imagining Those $50+ Charges Last Week

Here we go again - another year, another round of “Ethereum’s gas fees are too high” articles in the crypto press. Or so it seems – […]

Linda Williams August 16, 2024

An illustration of an adult standing at the entrance of a wild party with arms crossed while looking sternly inside; people dancing wildly out of control in the background; one person is shown crashing to the ground. The adult's foot is raised as if about to step into the room, but hesitates mid-air. In contrast, another illustration shows an empty space next to it where a child would be expected, with only darkness and shadows present. A faint image of a parent or guardian can be seen in the distance watching over from afar through a window.

Bitcoin

SEC Stamps Its Foot Down on Crypto Industry’s Wild Party Demands Everyone Just Let Them Get Drunk and Crash Without Any Adult Supervision

The Digital Chamber (TDC) thinks that cryptocurrency should be free from regulation? Give me a break! They're just another group of apologists for the crypto bros […]

Doug Martinez August 16, 2024

Crypto News

Congressman Calls SEC Chair the Worst Harasser Since Your Aunt at Thanksgiving

The crypto bros are at it again! They can't even get a regulation-by-harassment right without turning on each other. Meanwhile, I'm over here just waiting for […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration: A wizard stands in front of an imposing castle with gates wide open; he holds up his hands to shield himself from falling debris. The walls are cracked but still standing, while rubble lies scattered at their base. In one corner a large stone is inscribed 'SEC' and another has the words 'Consensys'. On top of the wall stands a figure holding an axe with sparks flying off it; in its other hand there's a scroll unrolling as if being pulled by some unseen force, revealing lines that resemble code or runes.

Crypto News

Consensys Demands Court Declares Software Interfaces Are Magical and Beyond the Grasp of Mere Mortal Regulators

The crypto bros are at it again! This time Consensys is challenging the SEC in court because they think their precious Metamask software interface shouldn't be […]

Doug Martinez August 15, 2024

An illustration of a Canadian politician with their arms open wide embracing two large bears representing Kraken and Coinbase as they are giving each other bro hugs, while behind them is an image of a rising sun symbolizing the growth of digital assets adoption in Canada amidst regulatory developments. The scene takes place on Parliament Hill overlooking Ottawa River.

Bitcoin

Crypto Lobbyists Unleash Fury of a Thousand Bro Hugs on Politicians Who Clearly Don’t Care About Your Bitcoins

The crypto bros are at it again! They think that by lobbying Canadian politicians they can somehow make cryptocurrency mainstream. Newsflash: nobody cares about your precious […]

Barry Thompson August 15, 2024

An illustration featuring Judge Judy sitting at her bench wearing a judge's hat while looking sternly over reading glasses. In front of her is an empty chair labeled "SEC" with a red X marked through it, next to which stands a large stack of books titled 'Digital Asset Legislation'. On the wall behind her hangs a sign that reads "Case Dismissed". A gavel lies on the bench beside Judge Judy's hand as she gestures towards the SEC seat.

Crypto News

Coinbase Just Got Sued by the SEC and Now They’re Playing Judge Judy

Here we go again: another cryptocurrency shenanigan unfolding like clockwork. It's almost as if these guys are trying their best to make us all laugh with […]

Barry Thompson August 15, 2024

An illustration of two presidential candidates standing on either side of a large, open door with a sign that reads 'Solana ETFs'. One candidate is holding an American flag and wearing a suit while the other wears a red hat. The background features a calendar counting down to mid-March 2025. A clock in the top right corner shows November as the most important date. In one hand, the suited figure holds a veto stamp with 'Biden' written on it; his other hand is raised in defeat.

Altcoins

Solanas Last Stand: Analyst Still Holding Breath as Entire World Waits With Bated Breath for the Inevitable Collapse of Your ETF

The eternal optimism of crypto bros never ceases to amuse me! They think that somehow, someway, their precious Solana ETF will magically get approved by mid-March […]

Kevin Nelson August 15, 2024

Crypto News

Paypal’s Desperate Cry for Attention: We’re Giving Away 40k in PYUSD Because Nobody Actually Wants It

Cryptocurrency's never-ending quest for relevance continues with Paypal launching a global hackathon offering some laughable $40k in prizes because apparently that’s what people do when they […]

Linda Williams August 15, 2024

An illustration of an old clockwork mechanism with gears being dismantled as new modern machinery enters from the left side to replace it; amidst this transition, some loose cogs float away into a void representing change. The background is filled with faint lines suggesting uncertainty while clarity begins to emerge in the foreground where light starts shining through gaps between the machines. In the distance, there are hints of mountains and clouds indicating an evolving landscape.

Bitcoin

Chevron Ruling Suddenly Realized to Be Entirely Pointless for Crypto Industry

Well well well, look who's trying to spin this as some kind of 'game-changer' for the cryptocurrency industry! The Digital Chamber is at it again, touting […]

Linda Williams August 15, 2024

Solana (SOL)

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