Regulation Archives - Page 3 of 5

An illustration of a never-ending staircase with each step representing an ETF, leading up to a sign that reads "Solana" and has been partially torn away from its base; in the background, a cityscape is visible through broken windows. A figure at the top of the stairs looks down upon it all while holding onto a rope tied around their waist as they slide back towards the bottom step. The staircase's railings are made up of tiny dollar signs and coins that seem to be falling off into an abyss below, with some stuck in the cracks between steps.

VanEcks Never Ending Quest to Make You Lose Money in a Solana ETF Continues Unabated

Just when you thought it was safe to get back into cryptocurrency, VanEck comes along and reminds us all that Solana is still a thing. Because […]

Doug Martinez August 20, 2024

An illustration depicting an economic graph in free fall towards the ground with various cryptocurrencies floating above it like balloons; some have popped while others remain intact but look precarious; Bitcoin is shown as a large balloon at the center of the image. In the background, there are subtle hints of traditional financial institutions and regulatory frameworks trying to grasp or stabilize the situation. The overall atmosphere conveys uncertainty and volatility amidst potential growth and development in the crypto industry.

Crypto News

Lower Interest Rates Will Definitely Not Cause a Global Economic Meltdown This Time I Promise

The eternal optimist HashKey Capital CEO is at it again! Citing the potential for DeFi summer 2.0 because interest rates might drop (yay!) is a classic […]

Doug Martinez August 20, 2024

Crypto News

State Street Launches Digital Asset Platform Because Institutional Clients Clearly Don’t Have Enough Problems Already

The latest news from State Street is a joke right? They're partnering up with Taurus to create some kind of digital asset platform for institutional clients […]

Sam Rogers August 20, 2024

An illustration: A judge sits at a desk with papers scattered around them; they hold up their hand to halt the flow of money pouring from one side of the room (labelled 'Employer') towards another (labelled 'Employee'); in the background, coins and banknotes are replaced by cryptocurrency symbols floating upwards. The scene is set against a cityscape at sunset with skyscrapers representing Dubai's skyline; people walk through streets below as they go about their daily business while looking up to see what’s happening above them.

Altcoins

Dubai Court Suddenly Realizes Crypto Isn’t Actually Made of Unicorn Tears and Decides It Can Be Used for Normal Things Like Paying People

It's about time Dubai caught up with the rest of us who think cryptocurrency is a scam! Who needs to be paid in crypto when it’s […]

Doug Martinez August 20, 2024

Altcoins

Bitcoin’s Range-Bound Price Action Is Clearly the Result of an All-Powerful Alt-Emperor Ruling Over a Kingdom of Uncoordinated Cryptocurrencies

The cryptocurrency market is still in shambles after its recent collapse. Bitcoin (BTC) has been stuck in a range-bound price action for weeks, and altcoins like […]

Sam Rogers August 20, 2024

An illustration of a smiling Joe Biden holding an oversized Bitcoin coin with confetti falling around him while standing on top of a mountain range, surrounded by people waving American flags. In the background is a large crowd cheering in unison. A rainbow-colored arc stretches across the sky above them all. The scene depicts joy and celebration but also hints at controversy through subtle facial expressions among some members of the crowd. At Joe Biden's feet are scattered various cryptocurrency symbols like Ethereum, Litecoin, etc., symbolizing his connection to the industry.

Altcoins

Biden’s Secret Plan To Bribe Entire Population With Free Bitcoin And Make Everyone Instantly Love Him

The absurdity of it all! Democrats are now launching a "Crypto for Harris" initiative because, apparently, they think this will somehow help their candidate win. As […]

Doug Martinez August 16, 2024

An illustration of a financial advisor standing in front of a large, ominous-looking door labeled "Crypto Assets" while holding onto a rope tied around their waist; they look worried as if being pulled towards the door by an unseen force with other advisors visible through the doorway looking equally concerned and some falling off into darkness. In the background is a cityscape at sunset with buildings crumbling in ruin amidst clouds of smoke, flames, or debris. The advisor's hands are grasping for something to hold onto but their grip keeps slipping as they're being pulled towards the door;

Altcoins

Bitcoin Etfs: The Sec-Approved Recipe For Financial Ruin That Your Advisor Is Too Afraid To Tell You About

Oh boy, it looks like someone finally gets it! John Reed Stark knows a thing or two about the SEC (he used to run their internet […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a person standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking an ocean with waves crashing below; they hold a large stack of coins that seem to be slipping through their fingers into the sea as some float away on the water's surface. The figure is surrounded by scattered coins and debris from what appears to have been a shipwreck, suggesting loss or failure in one part of their business while others are thriving nearby. In contrast, other stacks of coins remain intact near them but slightly out of reach, hinting at potential gains yet untapped.

Crypto News

Coinshares: Where Losing Money Is Just Part of Their Business Plan to Make More Money

The great news just keeps rolling out for Coinshares! Another quarter, another profit from their dubious dealings with crypto companies that inevitably go bankrupt. I mean […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

An illustration of a globe divided into two hemispheres by an axis labeled as "Tradition" on one side and "Innovation" on the other. The left hemisphere is filled with old-fashioned calculators, paper ledgers, and filing cabinets while the right hemisphere features futuristic skyscrapers, robots working at desks, and digital screens displaying financial data in real-time.

Bitcoin

UAE And UK Team Up To Create The World’s Most Confusing Guidebook For Rich People Who Invested Too Much Money In Bitcoin

Oh boy, here we go again! Another bunch of accountants trying to make sense out of this crypto nonsense. The UAE is partnering with ICAEW (Institute […]

Linda Williams August 16, 2024

Crypto News

SEC Charges Bitclout Founder With Multi-Million-Dollar Crypto Fraud Because One Guy Named Nader Was Too Busy Being Diamondhands to Pay His Taxes

Well it seems like another day, another crypto bro busted by the authorities! I'm not surprised in the least that Nader Al-Naji's multi-million-dollar scheme was exposed […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

An illustration of Kamala Harris standing in front of an American flag with chains and locks wrapped around it; she is surrounded by three broken bank vaults, each labeled 'Silicon Valley Bank', 'Silvergate' and 'Signature'; a large hammer lies at her feet next to a pile of rubble. In the background, two figures are seen walking away from the scene carrying briefcases marked with economic policy documents. The overall atmosphere is dark and ominous. A faint image of an X post can be seen on one side of the illustration.

Bitcoin

Kamala Harris Announces Plan to Destroy Your Life and Ruin the Entire Economy With Her Crushing Crypto Crackdown

I'm not surprised that Kamala Harris is doubling down on Biden's anti-crypto policies - it just goes to show what a bunch of out-of-touch, crypto-hating elitists […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

Bitcoin

US Senator Accidentally Types Out Entire Wikipedia Entry on Bitcoin While Trying to Sound Smart at Conference

The Bitcoin 2024 Conference is like a never-ending parade of clueless politicians trying to sound smart on cryptocurrency, but all they manage to do is make […]

Doug Martinez August 16, 2024

An illustration of an astronaut floating above Earth's atmosphere with a parachute attached behind him; he is holding onto a large balloon labeled as 'Solana' while it inflates rapidly from being pierced by thousands of tiny arrows, each representing regulatory approvals. The background features various national flags waving gently in the wind and several other balloons drifting away into space.

Crypto News

Brazilian Regulators Approve Spot ETF for Solana Because Clearly That Was the Only Reason It Needed to Exist

Oh boy, here we go again! Another cryptocurrency trying to make it big by getting approved for a traditional investment product. I mean, who needs actual […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a cartoon piggy bank with its mouth wide open as it's being blown away by strong winds while holding onto several balloons labeled 'Bitcoin', 'ETF' and '$188 million'. The background is filled with falling coins. In the distance, an image of Morgan Stanley can be seen in flames surrounded by smoke. A faint outline of a calendar shows June 30th highlighted. At the bottom left corner, there's a small piggy bank lying on its side spilling out money while crying tears made from dollar signs.

Altcoins

Morgan Stanley Blows Entire 401k Fund on Bitcoin Trust Because Who Needs Retirement Anyway

The gullible idiots are at it again! Morgan Stanley has apparently decided that throwing a few hundred million dollars into BlackRock's Bitcoin Trust is a good […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

Bitcoin

Crypto Market Soars to New Heights Because Clearly We All Need a Reason to Lose Our Shirts This Week

Oh boy, here we go again! Another day, another bunch of gullible idiots throwing money into cryptocurrency thinking they're getting rich quick. Newsflash: you're not. You're […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

NFTs

Dubai’s DIFC Just Partnered With the One Company That Actually Makes You Lose Money on Blockchain

Oh boy, here we go again. The latest attempt by crypto bros to legitimize their "industry" is a partnership between Ripple and some financial center in […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of an old man sitting on a couch with his head in hands looking at a stack of worthless papers next to him; the background is dark grey with faint lines resembling broken chains; he's surrounded by empty bottles and trash, while outside through the window there are people running away from falling coins. The room has no windowsills or curtains but it looks like they were once present as evidenced by old nails in the wall where they used to be hung. In one corner of the image a faint light bulb is visible with its filament broken and hanging loose;

DeFi

Grayscale Launches Investment Fund for People Who Hate Themselves and Want to Lose All Their Money on Unproven Blockchain Nonsense

Oh boy, here we go again – another investment fund from Grayscale for the gullible masses who want to get in on the MakerDAO gravy train! […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of an old-fashioned hot air balloon rising into the sky with digital currency symbols (ETH) floating away from it in all directions while being chased by a flock of birds representing institutional investors and asset managers; below them lies a cityscape, but buildings are replaced with cryptic financial charts. The balloon is labeled as "Blackrock's New ETHA ETF" and has an arrow pointing upwards to indicate growth. In the background, there is a faint image of Grayscale’s ETHE fund being left behind in its wake.

Crypto News

Blackrock’s New ETHA ETF: Because Who Needs Actual Wealth When You Can Have Digital Hot Air?

Well well well! Looks like more suckers are about to throw their money into digital "assets" that have no inherent value and are created from thin […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a stern-looking banker standing on top of an unstable seesaw with one end representing stablecoins and the other national currency. The banker is holding onto both ends tightly while looking down at two people trying to balance each other out below, as they are surrounded by dollar signs floating in mid-air. In the background, there's a faint image of Elvira Nabiullina standing on top of a mountain with her arms stretched wide open and a determined look on her face.

Crypto News

Regulation of Stablecoins Imminent: Experts Warned That Bankers Will Finally Figure Out How Not to Lose Everyone’s Money

Bank of Russia is finally getting its act together and realizing that stablecoins are nothing but a recipe for disaster. It's about time they started taking […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration: A group of men in suits and ties are gathered around a table covered in papers and pens; one man is holding up an empty briefcase while others look on nervously. In the background, there's a large whiteboard with scribbled notes about tokenization companies. The atmosphere feels tense as some figures glance at each other suspiciously. A few men stand by the window looking out into the distance, seemingly lost in thought.

Altcoins

CVM Finally Discovers Tokenization Is Literally Just Guys Making Stuff Up and Selling It to Unsuspecting People for Bitcoin

The Brazilian Securities Regulator CVM has finally woken up and realized that cryptocurrency is not as exciting as all those crypto bros made it out to […]

Linda Williams August 16, 2024

An illustration of a man (Kim Dotcom) standing on top of New Zealand with his arms outstretched as he looks back at the country below him; behind him is an image of the United States rising up from the horizon like a giant, its outline formed by flames and smoke; in front of Kim Dotcom are two large suitcases being dragged away by chains towards the U.S. silhouette while above them flies a flock of birds with dollar signs on their wings;

Crypto News

Kim Dotcom Just Got Extradited Because Clearly One Billionaire Wasn’t Enough and We Really Needed Another

The extradition decision is a no-brainer for New Zealand's Justice Minister Paul Goldsmith - it's about time Kim Dotcom faced justice after his alleged piracy empire […]

Linda Williams August 16, 2024

Regulation

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