Bitfarms Unleashes 2.2 Eh/S of Pure Madness on an Already Suffocating Planet!
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Bitfarms is splashing into another hosting agreement with a new set of miners […]
Momentum
Price Analysis 8/9: The Only Thing More Useless Than These Coins Is the Life Choices of Their Diehard Holders
Oh boy, crypto bros still don't get it! They think they can just keep buying up worthless tokens like Dogecoin (DOGE) and Toncoin (TON), hoping for […]
Goldman Sachs CEO Still Hasn’t Figured Out Bitcoin Is a Joke That Will Eventually Stop Being Funny
The eternal optimism of the clueless! David Solomon still thinks Bitcoin might be around for a while longer before it inevitably crashes to zero (or at […]
Dollar Sucks So Hard Now That Even the Most Basic Economic Concept Is Enough to Make It Flee for Cover
Another day another dollar drop! The world is finally realizing that the US economy isn't as rock solid as everyone thought it was. And what's causing […]
Bitcoin’s Year-End Surprise Party Will Be a Crash Course in Reality
You know what's coming next - another bunch of brainless investors throwing their money at yet another speculative opportunity because they think it'll make them rich […]
Bitcoin Mania Ignites as Experts Warn You Will Probably Still Lose All Your Money
You know what's hilarious? People still trying to make money off this joke called cryptocurrency after all these years! Jamie Coutts thinks he’s some kind of […]
Ethereum (ETH) Price Skyrockets to Unprecedented Heights of 50% Recovery Because Logic Says That Is What Happens When You Lose Half Your Value in One Day
Oh boy, Ethereum's price is up today because... wait for it... the market has recovered! I mean who wouldn't want to buy something that was worth […]
$60k Bitcoin Finally Here So Now We Can All Pretend ETH SUI TAO and NOT Will Magically Become Good Investments Again
The cryptocurrency market is still reeling from its recent downturn, with many altcoins struggling to regain their footing. However, there are some signs of hope on […]
US Just Can’t Get Enough of Losing Money to Ethereum ETFs and Still Wants More
The cryptocurrency community is still trying to wrap its head around this one - a bunch of people are losing money so fast it's like they're […]
Ethereum Traders Now Officially Experts in Predicting the Exact Date of Their Own Inevitable Bankruptcy at an Average Price Per Month
Crypto traders are at it again - this time they're warning of an impending doom for Ether's price, which is currently trading above $2K. Analysts like […]
$301M Flows Into the Neverending Pit of Financial Despair Known as Bitcoin ETFs Because Apparently Someone Has to Keep Funding This Sinking Ship
Another day, another bunch of gullible idiots pouring their money into Bitcoin because they think it's a get-rich-quick scheme. Meanwhile, the rest of us are over […]
US Investors Flee to Their Parents’ Basements After Realizing They’ve Invested in Something Called “Ethereum
The sweet taste of schadenfreude! It seems like some poor souls have finally realized that investing in Ethereum was not as bright an idea as they […]
Boomers Still Don’t Get It: Their Grandkids’ Crypto Investments Will Leave Them Eating Ramen Noodles Until They Die
Crypto-love is in the air and it's not just about romance! It seems like everyone wants a piece of Ethereum these days. Boomer Saraga thinks that […]
Altseason Delayed Again Because Apparently We Need Two More Price Targets to Hit
Oh boy do I love it when these self-proclaimed crypto "experts" come out with their ridiculous predictions. So now we need Bitcoin to breach $70K and […]
Japan Gets Its Mojo Back and Suddenly Rate Hikes Are Totally Necessary
Japan's economy is booming! Who would have thought? With an annualised 3.1% growth spurt, it seems like everyone in Tokyo has finally figured out how to […]
Robert Kiyosaki vs Peter Schiff in Epic Battle for Most Ridiculous Predictions Ever Made That Will Definitely Not Come True Because These Guys Are Just Making Stuff Up as They Go Along
I love how these two buffoons are trying to outdo each other with their wild predictions about precious metals and cryptocurrencies. It's like watching a pair […]
US Crypto Bro ETFs Are Literally Bleeding Money Because Apparently Nobody Told Them That Investing in Bitcoin Is a Recipe for Disaster
It seems like another day, another dollar lost by crypto bros who still can't figure out that their precious Bitcoin ETFs are nothing but money pits […]
Tech Giants Imploding Underweight From Years Of Eating Too Much Kool Aid
The mighty seven tech stocks are coming crashing down! How predictable is that? I mean who didn't see this trainwreck brewing after all those promises about […]
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