IMF Tells El Salvador to Stop Being a Bitcoin Enthusiast and Act Like an Adult for Once
The IMF is still trying to tell El Salvador that adopting Bitcoin as legal tender was a bad idea, but it seems like they're speaking into […]
Cryptocurrency Market
When Will They Stop: Bitwise Unveils Latest ETF Scheme to Make You Rich With Math Wizardry
The never-ending circus of crypto ETFs continues! Bitwise is at it again, trying to peddle its latest creation - a momentum-based fund that will supposedly make […]
BREAKING: 21.co and Crypto.com Join Forces in Desperate Bid to Make Your Bitcoin Even More Liquid (And Useless)!!!
The never-ending saga of cryptocurrency companies partnering up and pretending they're making a difference continues! Today's instalment features 21.co teaming up with Crypto.com for some Bitcoin […]
Ethereum Traders Predict Apocalypse, Bet Big Money Will Get Lost Amidst Sudden Onset of Reasoned Behavior
The Cryptocurrency Circus Continues: Traders Betting on Chaos Ahead of US Election.
Crypto Brots Go Berserk as Bitcoin and Ether ETFs Suck in $148 MILLION Like Moths to a Flame, Because Who Needs Savings or Investing Strategy When You Can Just Throw Money at Some Code?
Crypto bros can't get enough of their precious ETFs! It's like they're trying to out-idiom the idiotic idea that throwing money at a bunch of numbers […]
IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN: Cryptocurrency Prices Predictably Plummet as Bears and Bulls Engage in Mind-Numbing Cycle of Doom
After all these years, I'm still waiting for someone to tell me what's the point of writing about cryptocurrency prices every day. It seems like Groundhog […]
Bitcoin ETFs: Because Who Needs Their Money When You Can Have the Thrill of Watching It Vanish Into Thin Air?!
The never-ending saga of cryptocurrency's spectacular failures continues to entertain and educate us all! It seems the latest ETFs (Exchange-Traded Funds) for Bitcoin and Ethereum have […]
$4 Billion Down the Drain (Again): Is This the Start of ‘AI-bercrash’?
AI Tokens: Because Who Needs Real Value When You Can Have A Nice Sounding Name?.
Crypto Experts Predicted Doom When Rates Went Up, Now They’re Saying Rate Cuts Will Save Them All
As a seasoned satirist of all things cryptocurrency, I must say that Bybit's head of institution is either delusional or just plain desperate. The guy thinks […]
Ethereum’s Open Interest Hits Record High… And That Means It’s Time to Sell Everything Before the Inevitable Crash!
Well isn't this just peachy? Ethereum's open interest has hit a 20-month high and everyone is getting all excited about it. Let me tell you something, […]
You Won’t Believe the SHOCKING Truth About This Mysterious 2009 Bitcoin Wallet That’s Still Spewing Out Cash Like It’s Going Out of Style… Until You Realize It’s Just a Bunch of Rich Guys Playing With Their Play Money
Don't get too excited about this 'ancient' bitcoin wallet spending business - it's just a bunch of old coins being moved around by some bored rich […]
10 Cryptocurrencies That Will Suddenly Skyrocket in Value While You’re Still Trying to Figure Out What a Bull Is
The Crypto Market: Where Bulls Run Wild, Bears Hibernate.
Microstrategy’s Bitcoin Obsession Reaches New Heights as They Dump Entire Salary Budget on 18,300 More Coins Because That’s Just What You Do When You’re Trying to Lose Everything
The eternal quest for a get-rich-quick scheme: Microstrategy Buys More Bitcoins Because Why Not?.
$18 BILLION BOOM: Retail Investors Flocking to Solana Liquid Staking Like Moths to a Flame, Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Have Cryptocurrency?
Folks, let's get this over with - another bunch of hot air about cryptocurrency 'growth' that will inevitably end in tears for the poor saps who […]
WARNING: Don’t Even Think About Buying Bitcoin Before Election Day – You’ll Lose Your Shirt
The eternal optimism of crypto enthusiasts never ceases to amuse me. They're convinced that this time is different, that bitcoin will somehow magically defy its history […]
BITCOIN’S NEXT MOVE WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING: 4 Cryptocurrencies That Will Either Soar or SINK Alongside the World’s Most Hated Asset
The cryptocurrency market is a never-ending circus of speculation and hype. We've got Bitcoin (BTC) breaking down below key support levels, but somehow still managing to […]
GET READY FOR THE MOST AMAZING, LIFE-CHANGING FINANCIAL CRASH OF OUR LIFETIME! Bitcoin DeFi TVL to SOAR PAST Ethereum’s in a MIND-BLOWING 2 YEARS!
The eternal optimist - always predicting that things will get better and more people will fall for this scam.
Stablecoin Market Cap Hits New High: Because Nothing Says Financial Stability Like a $168 Billion Ponzi Scheme!
When will these crypto bros learn? They're still celebrating a stablecoin market cap hitting an all-time high at $168 billion as if it's some kind of […]
$623 Billion Later: Crypto Market Still Not Rich, Somehow Remains Popular (What’s Wrong With You People?!)
The crypto market's latest surge has got me thinking: have these people finally realized that their get-rich-quick schemes won't actually make them rich? Or is it […]
BREAKING: SOL Price Jumps 1000% Overnight, Still Has No Idea What It’s Doing
The Solana Saga: A Wild Ride to Nowhere (Again).
$24 Million Dollar NFT Sale Proves Once and for All That the Entire Crypto Market Is a Flavorless, Overpriced Soufflé
The CryptoPunk That Couldn't: $24M Sale Shows Even The Rich Can Get Poor.
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