Crypto Regulation Archives - Page 8 of 8

An illustration of a hacker wearing sunglasses and holding a megaphone while standing on top of a pile of cryptocurrency coins with dollar signs flying out into space. In the background is an explosion representing chaos caused by DeFi hacks. The hacker's arms are raised in triumph, but their feet are slipping off the edge of the coin stack as if they're losing control and falling towards the ground below. A large percentage sign (57%) appears above them with a downward arrow pointing to the coins below.

DeFi Hacks So Good You’ll Want to Hack Yourself Just for the Thrill of Losing 57%

The grand finale for crypto exploiters seems to be near - or at least that's what they're hoping as their offchain attack vectors are getting more […]

Linda Williams August 15, 2024

An illustration of a giant beanie baby sitting on top of an empty crypto trading platform with red warning signs and broken screens all around him while he holds up his own Ponzi scheme sign. A few scattered coins are seen at his feet as well as some torn papers in the background that resemble contracts or receipts, hinting at the derivatives traded by users instead of actual assets. The beanie baby's face is a mix of guilt and panic with its eyes wide open while it looks down on the chaos below him.

Crypto News

Liquitrade LTD Caught Red-Handed Running Most Epic Ponzi Scheme Since That One Guy Who Sold Beanie Babies

And here we go again with another crypto exchange getting caught operating outside of regulations and ripping off their users! I mean who needs rules when […]

Kevin Nelson August 15, 2024

An illustration of an old clockwork mechanism with gears being dismantled as new modern machinery enters from the left side to replace it; amidst this transition, some loose cogs float away into a void representing change. The background is filled with faint lines suggesting uncertainty while clarity begins to emerge in the foreground where light starts shining through gaps between the machines. In the distance, there are hints of mountains and clouds indicating an evolving landscape.

Bitcoin

Chevron Ruling Suddenly Realized to Be Entirely Pointless for Crypto Industry

Well well well, look who's trying to spin this as some kind of 'game-changer' for the cryptocurrency industry! The Digital Chamber is at it again, touting […]

Linda Williams August 15, 2024

An illustration of an old-fashioned alarm clock ringing with its hands pointing at midnight and the background is filled with falling stocks from various industries including cryptocurrency symbols amidst chaos. A giant Bitcoin symbol lies broken on the ground in front of it while nearby are scattered papers labeled as "options" and a calendar showing September 2023, indicating that time has run out for investors to act before more losses occur. The overall atmosphere conveys panic and urgency with bold lines used throughout the image.

Crypto News

NYSE Arca Withdraws Request to List Options on Commodity Trusts Because Clearly We Already Have Enough Ways for the Average Person to Lose Money in Crypto

It seems like we're getting close to being able to trade crypto with our hard-earned money without having to resort to shady derivatives. Whoop-de-doo! I mean, […]

Sam Rogers August 15, 2024

An illustration of a giant dollar sign standing on top of Manhattan, with skyscrapers and buildings made out of gold coins; at its base is an image of Louisiana being sold to the United States for beads, Alaska with oil rigs, and New York City's Port. In the background are images of computers and servers representing cyberspace, while a giant bitcoin symbol rises above them all. The dollar sign has arms around itself holding onto gold coins as if protecting its value; at its feet is an image of Saylor speaking to people in front of him with open hands gesturing towards the future.

Bitcoin

Michael Saylor: US Government Should Own Majority of All the Worlds Bitcoins in Order to Save Us From Ourselves Because Clearly We Cant Be Trusted With Our Own Money

You know, when I read about Michael Saylor's latest brain fart – that the US government should buy up all the Bitcoin out there to strengthen […]

Sam Rogers August 15, 2024

An illustration: A burning building with flames engulfing it from all sides; a figure in the distance running away as if trying to escape. The building's windows show images of cryptocurrency coins falling through them like raindrops. In one window, an image of FTX is visible amidst the chaos. Smoke and fire surround everything else. At the bottom left corner lies a pile of ashes with 'SilverGate' written in it. A faint outline of Alan Lane can be seen running away from the building at top right distance.

Crypto News

SilverGate Burns Itself to Ashes After Trying Too Hard to Be Cool and Now Everyone’s Laughing at You

Crypto's latest victim is a reminder that even those who have made it out alive from this wild west era still can't escape the consequences. When […]

Doug Martinez August 15, 2024

An illustration of a fireblock with flames rising from it, surrounded by various digital assets such as cryptocurrencies and NFTs being stored safely within the block's walls. The background is dark blue representing trust and security while the foreground has bright colors indicating growth and stability. A key in hand symbolizes access to these secure storage solutions for institutional clients. In the top left corner a New York city skyline with skyscrapers can be seen, signifying regulation under NYDFS. At the bottom right of the image is an anchor representing stability and reliability.

Altcoins

Fireblocks Gets Charter New York Still Thinks Crypto Custody Will Save Us All

You won't believe what's happening, but apparently some people are trying to make cryptocurrency custody "safe". Fireblocks has just been granted a charter from the state […]

Sam Rogers August 15, 2024

Bitcoin

US Senators Get Mailed 2200 Letters From People Who Clearly Have No Idea What They’re Talking About and Should Probably Just Stick to Investing in Beanie Babies Instead

I'm shocked - SHOCKED! - to hear about all these letters flooding in from gullible idiots who actually think Bitcoin is a good idea. I mean, […]

Sam Rogers August 15, 2024

An illustration of three-quarters of a globe being engulfed by dark clouds while one-quarter remains bright blue; an arrow pointing downwards from the top quarter to emphasize its descent into darkness, with faint outlines of money bags and coins scattered across it. In contrast, the remaining quarter is surrounded by rays of light that form shapes resembling virtual assets or cryptocurrencies. A subtle line separates these two contrasting sections, hinting at a divide between compliance and non-compliance with anti-money laundering standards for the virtual asset sector.

Crypto News

FATF: Because Apparently Three-Quarters of Countries Can’t Be Bothered to Follow Their Own Money Laundering Rules

Oh great, here we go again! The Financial Action Task Force is at it once more, trying to sound all serious about combating money laundering and […]

Doug Martinez August 15, 2024

Bitcoin

US Government Has Suddenly Realized That Printing More Money Wasn’t the Answer After All

Daim's CEO Bryan Courchesne thinks he knows a thing or two about how to make Bitcoin great again - what an original idea! He believes that […]

Kevin Nelson August 15, 2024

An illustration: A large pizza with a broken price tag on top of it sits in front of an empty chair at a table where two people are sitting across from each other, one wearing a suit and tie while the other is dressed more casually. The person in casual clothes has their arm around the back of the chair as if they're about to get up but hasn't yet. In the background there's a cityscape with buildings that resemble those found in Silicon Valley. A large cryptocurrency symbol (a stylized letter "X") hangs above them, and below it is written 'Reset' in bold letters.

Bitcoin

Kamala Harris: The Crypto Savior Who Will Finally Make Your Bitcoin Investments Worth Something Other Than the Price of a Large Pizza

Well isn't this just peachy? The crypto bros are at it again with their endless stream of feel-good nonsense about how cryptocurrency is going to save […]

Doug Martinez August 15, 2024

An illustration of a detective wearing sunglasses holding up an iPad showing the New York City skyline with cryptocurrency symbols floating above it; in the background are blurred images of hackers at computers, while on the left side there is a faint image of money flying out of a wallet. The colors used are dark blues and grays for contrast to represent night time or digital space. In one corner, an arrow points upwards towards the skyline with cryptocurrency symbols indicating growth and progress in combating cybercrimes.

Crypto News

New York DA Now Hiring Crypto Analysts Because Clearly We Need More Experts on How Not to Get Ripped Off Online

Cryptocurrency: the gift that keeps on giving...to scammers! You know what's almost as exciting as getting rich quick with some fly-by-night cryptocurrency? Getting hacked by sophisticated […]

Sam Rogers August 15, 2024

An illustration of an old-fashioned bank vault door with rusty hinges opening slowly. Inside is seen a large stack of books labeled 'Regulations' on top of which sits a small, modern computer screen displaying a countdown timer set for 2025. The room behind it has scattered papers and pens in disarray as if someone was working there recently. A faint glow emanates from the back wall where an old-fashioned lantern hangs precariously close to some electrical wires that seem about to spark.

Crypto News

Central Bank of Brazil Unleashes Nuclear Option: Crypto Regulation Coming in 2025 and Nothing Will Ever Go Wrong Again

I'm sure this is going to end well - another country getting suckered into regulating an industry built on nothing but hot air. The Central Bank […]

Kevin Nelson August 15, 2024

An illustration of a person standing on top of a mountain range with their arms outstretched towards the sky as they hold up a lantern. In the background is an image of a cityscape at night with skyscrapers and buildings lit up in shades of blue and purple, while below them are dark shadows representing corruption and crime. The mountainside behind the person has cracks and fissures that seem to be spreading apart revealing more light from within as if something new is emerging.

Crypto News

DOJ Launches Whistleblower Awards Program Because Someone Finally Realized You Can’t Bribe People to Stop Being Suckers With Free Money

More like "DOJ Launches Whistleblower Awards Program for Gullible Idiots Who Invested in Crypto". Because let's face it, if you're stupid enough to invest in cryptocurrency […]

Kevin Nelson August 15, 2024

An illustration of a proud-looking kid standing on top of an American flag with his arms raised in defiance while being chased by angry regulators represented as wolves wearing business suits. The background is filled with flames and smoke indicating conflict or war. In one hand he holds a megaphone that has been torn apart, suggesting the loss of voice for his cause. A large blockchain symbol floats above him representing modern technologies mentioned in the article. He wears a crown made from dollar signs signifying wealth but also implying arrogance.

Crypto News

Messari Declares Independence From Reality and Realizes That Being a Whiny Little Rich Kid Is Not as Fun Without an Audience

It seems like Ryan Selkis is finally realizing that cryptocurrency is a joke - not because it's some revolutionary new technology (it isn't), but because of […]

Doug Martinez August 15, 2024

Bitcoin

US Politicians Finally Get It Right About Bitcoin – Now They Just Need to Actually Understand What That Means

Another day another bunch of politicians making promises they can't keep about Bitcoin, because what's more fun than watching them get their fingers burned on this […]

Linda Williams August 15, 2024

An illustration of a French flag waving above the Eiffel Tower while being surrounded by various crypto symbols (e.g. Bitcoin, Ethereum) that are slowly falling into place like puzzle pieces to form a larger image of Europe with MiCA regulation written across it; below this scene is an open book representing compliance and regulations with strict rules drawn around its pages in red ink. In the background there's a subtle clock ticking away towards December 2024 as a reminder for market participants to prepare ahead of time.

Crypto News

French Regulators Finally Crack Down on Crypto Scammers by Accepting Their Applications

It's about time the French took some actual action against these crypto bros who've been scamming people left and right. But let's be real here - […]

Linda Williams August 15, 2024

Bitcoin

Coinbase Just Asked for Permission Again and Guess Who Said No This Time

The never-ending saga of Coinbase vs. the world! Or, in this case, against a court decision they don't like. Because what's more fun than trying to […]

Doug Martinez August 15, 2024