Ripple CEO Suddenly Discovers Politics Is Boring
The Ripple CEO thinks he's some kind of hero because he wants bipartisan cooperation on crypto, but let me tell you something - the only thing […]
Crypto Regulation
Nigeria Drops Charges Against Binance Executives Because They Finally Figured Out That Throwing Random Guys Under the Bus Was a Terrible Idea
Well well well! Look who's dropping charges like hot potatoes - Nigeria is finally figuring out that throwing a bunch of random executives under the bus […]
Vanguard’s New CEO: We’re Still Not Fallling for That Whole ‘Crypto Thing’ Because It’s Clearly a Giant Scam and You Should Be Ashamed of Yourself for Investing in It
So it's official: another mainstream institution has seen through the crypto farce for what it is – a scam designed to separate gullible idiots from their […]
Kamala Harris Spontaneously Combusts After Being Forced to Listen to Anthony Scaramucci Talk About Crypto for More Than 5 Minutes
Anthony Scaramucci thinks Kamala Harris is open-minded about cryptocurrency? Give me a break! This guy has made more U-turns on his stance than a Bitcoin whale […]
Switzerland’s Last Hope for Sanity Erupts Into Existential Crisis Over Stablecoin Menace
FINMA finally gets on board and warns about stablecoins! Better late than never, I suppose. These things are ticking time bombs for financial stability worldwide, but […]
Indian Courts Declare Cryptocurrency Legal Because Clearly We Need More People Laundering Money and Losing Their Life Savings
Ha! You think the courts in India care about what you people want? They're still trying to figure out how much of their money was lost […]
Coinbase’s Existential Crisis: SEC Refuses to Give Them Permission to Not Get Shut Down Yet
The world is still waiting with bated breath as Coinbase continues to beg the SEC for rules that don't exist yet because they're too scared of […]
Bitwise Unveils Utterly Underwhelming Revelation That Somehow Still Manages to Bore Us All Into Oblivion
It looks like Bitwise is trying to convince us that transparency in cryptocurrency is a unique feature - newsflash: it's just an attempt at damage control […]
Consensys Demands Court Declares Software Interfaces Are Magical and Beyond the Grasp of Mere Mortal Regulators
The crypto bros are at it again! This time Consensys is challenging the SEC in court because they think their precious Metamask software interface shouldn't be […]
Dapper Labs Wins Lawsuit Because of Course They Did You Were Always Going to Lose That Bet on NFTs
Ha! You won't believe it. Dapper Labs has managed to secure a favorable settlement in their lawsuit with Friel vs. Dapper Labs. This means that NBA […]
Ohio Residents Suffer Existential Crisis After Discovering They Can’t Lose Their Savings on Coinzoom
Well isn't this just peachy? Another crypto exchange gets shut down for being a dodgy operation and now Ohio residents can't get their hands on more […]
Crypto Lobbyists Unleash Fury of a Thousand Bro Hugs on Politicians Who Clearly Don’t Care About Your Bitcoins
The crypto bros are at it again! They think that by lobbying Canadian politicians they can somehow make cryptocurrency mainstream. Newsflash: nobody cares about your precious […]
Regulators Reveal Unsurprisingly Overwhelming Support for Their Own Regulations – 108 People Agree With Them
The never-ending circus continues as Hong Kong tries its hand at regulating something it clearly has no idea about - cryptocurrency. With 108 submissions from stakeholders […]
Coinbase Just Got Sued by the SEC and Now They’re Playing Judge Judy
Here we go again: another cryptocurrency shenanigan unfolding like clockwork. It's almost as if these guys are trying their best to make us all laugh with […]
Credit Suisse’s Epic Fail: We’re Shutting Down Our Entirely Not-Even-Slightly-Stable Real Estate Fund, Yay Musical Chairs
It's official: one Swiss banking giant is so desperate it can't even keep its own real estate fund from imploding – but hey, at least they're […]
BlackRock Suddenly Discovers That Making Stuff Up Out of Thin Air Is a Great Way to Get Ripped Off by Scam Artists
It's not surprising Blackrock is warning about crypto scams - after all, they're just numbers on a computer created from nothing. It's only natural that scammers […]
SEC Takes Down Another Crypto Bro and by “Takes Down” We Mean They Just Get to Pay a Fine and Keep on Keeping on With Their Wild West Practices
You know who's been laughing all along at these crypto bros? Me, that’s who! It seems like every other day another one of them gets taken […]
Binance Returns to the Country It Was Banned From for Being a Lawless Menace and People Are Like Yay I Can Lose All My Money Again
The gullible idiots are rejoicing once again as their precious cryptocurrency is back on the Google Play Store and Apple App Store. Binance has finally registered […]
Winklevoss Brothers Demand You Join Their Desperate Cry for Help Before They All Get Wiped Out
The Winklevoss brothers are at it again with their non-stop attempts to make the crypto industry mainstream and gain some respectability for this clearly scammy business […]
Senate Committee Proves Again That They Are Completely Out of Touch With Reality by Trying to Regulate Something Nobody Actually Cares About
You know what's a real joke? Thinking you need federal oversight for something as inherently worthless and useless as cryptocurrency! It's like trying to regulate water […]
Ripple Just Proved That Their Lawyers Are Better Than Yours at Not Losing in Court
The crypto bros are at it again! They can't even get their own laws straight. A California district judge has dismissed all allegations that Ripple violated […]
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