Bitcoin ETFs Erupt Into 100 Billion Dollar Bubble of Pure Fictitious Wealth
Cryptocurrency: because who needs real wealth when you can have fake numbers printed out by computers? It's not like we've learned anything from history about tulip […]
Crypto Industry Growth
Ethereum Gas Fees: Now Suddenly Too Low Because Apparently We Were All Just Imagining Those $50+ Charges Last Week
Here we go again - another year, another round of “Ethereum’s gas fees are too high” articles in the crypto press. Or so it seems – […]
SEC Stamps Its Foot Down on Crypto Industry’s Wild Party Demands Everyone Just Let Them Get Drunk and Crash Without Any Adult Supervision
The Digital Chamber (TDC) thinks that cryptocurrency should be free from regulation? Give me a break! They're just another group of apologists for the crypto bros […]
New Vanguard CEO Still Not Stupid Enough to Jump Off the Crypto Cliff
So Vanguard is finally wise enough not to jump into this crypto trainwreck yet. Only time will tell if they're smart or just scared, but I'll […]
Congressman Calls SEC Chair the Worst Harasser Since Your Aunt at Thanksgiving
The crypto bros are at it again! They can't even get a regulation-by-harassment right without turning on each other. Meanwhile, I'm over here just waiting for […]
Memecoin Roulette: You’re More Likely to Win at a Real Casino Than Actually Finding One That Doesn’t Tank Your $100 Bet
Cryptocurrency’s biggest scam is now being touted as an investment opportunity, with platforms like Pump.fun promising users they can find hidden gems among the endless stream […]
Tokenization Nation Strikes Again – Welcome the Latest Batch of Equitied Hot Air Balloons
Here we go again! Another bunch of numbskulls trying to convince us that cryptocurrency has some sort of inherent value, this time by tokenizing equities. Newsflash: […]
US Lawmaker Thinks Kamala Harris Needs Help From Rich Guys Who Are Probably Going Broke and Will Abandon Her Anyway
Harris needs help? Who wouldn’t want her as an ally in this dumpster fire that is cryptocurrency? It's not like she has anything better to do, […]
Nigeria Drops Charges Against Binance Executives Because They Finally Figured Out That Throwing Random Guys Under the Bus Was a Terrible Idea
Well well well! Look who's dropping charges like hot potatoes - Nigeria is finally figuring out that throwing a bunch of random executives under the bus […]
Coinbase’s Existential Crisis: SEC Refuses to Give Them Permission to Not Get Shut Down Yet
The world is still waiting with bated breath as Coinbase continues to beg the SEC for rules that don't exist yet because they're too scared of […]
Bitwise Unveils Utterly Underwhelming Revelation That Somehow Still Manages to Bore Us All Into Oblivion
It looks like Bitwise is trying to convince us that transparency in cryptocurrency is a unique feature - newsflash: it's just an attempt at damage control […]
Consensys Demands Court Declares Software Interfaces Are Magical and Beyond the Grasp of Mere Mortal Regulators
The crypto bros are at it again! This time Consensys is challenging the SEC in court because they think their precious Metamask software interface shouldn't be […]
Dapper Labs Wins Lawsuit Because of Course They Did You Were Always Going to Lose That Bet on NFTs
Ha! You won't believe it. Dapper Labs has managed to secure a favorable settlement in their lawsuit with Friel vs. Dapper Labs. This means that NBA […]
Regulators Reveal Unsurprisingly Overwhelming Support for Their Own Regulations – 108 People Agree With Them
The never-ending circus continues as Hong Kong tries its hand at regulating something it clearly has no idea about - cryptocurrency. With 108 submissions from stakeholders […]
Hong Kong Just Launched an Investment Product So Crazy Even Warren Buffett Would Lose His Mind Trying to Understand What Happened Next
What's next? A Hong Kong-based casino offering inverse Bitcoin craps tables where you can bet on losing your shirt while trying not to lose it all […]
Coinbase Just Got Sued by the SEC and Now They’re Playing Judge Judy
Here we go again: another cryptocurrency shenanigan unfolding like clockwork. It's almost as if these guys are trying their best to make us all laugh with […]
Credit Suisse’s Epic Fail: We’re Shutting Down Our Entirely Not-Even-Slightly-Stable Real Estate Fund, Yay Musical Chairs
It's official: one Swiss banking giant is so desperate it can't even keep its own real estate fund from imploding – but hey, at least they're […]
BlackRock Suddenly Discovers That Making Stuff Up Out of Thin Air Is a Great Way to Get Ripped Off by Scam Artists
It's not surprising Blackrock is warning about crypto scams - after all, they're just numbers on a computer created from nothing. It's only natural that scammers […]
Boomers Still Don’t Get It: Their Grandkids’ Crypto Investments Will Leave Them Eating Ramen Noodles Until They Die
Crypto-love is in the air and it's not just about romance! It seems like everyone wants a piece of Ethereum these days. Boomer Saraga thinks that […]
Binance Returns to the Country It Was Banned From for Being a Lawless Menace and People Are Like Yay I Can Lose All My Money Again
The gullible idiots are rejoicing once again as their precious cryptocurrency is back on the Google Play Store and Apple App Store. Binance has finally registered […]
Winklevoss Brothers Demand You Join Their Desperate Cry for Help Before They All Get Wiped Out
The Winklevoss brothers are at it again with their non-stop attempts to make the crypto industry mainstream and gain some respectability for this clearly scammy business […]
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