Business Environment Archives - Page 2 of 5

An illustration of a large yacht with its sails filled by wind blowing through bitcoin symbols; below it lies an island covered in greenery representing nature restored from environmental damage caused by human actions; on one side stands RFK Jr. looking out at the sea while holding up a small globe, and on the other side is a person planting trees as birds fly overhead symbolizing hope for a better future. In the background are faint outlines of cities with smokestacks replaced by wind turbines generating clean energy. The yacht's name 'Hope' is written in bold letters across its stern.

RFK Jr’s Cryptocurrency Crusade Will Save the World From Itself and Also Give Him a Sweet New Yacht

And here we go again - a politician trying to ride the crypto bandwagon for his own gain. How quaint! RFK Jr.'s promises are as hollow […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

An illustration of a person standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking an ocean with waves crashing below; they hold a large stack of coins that seem to be slipping through their fingers into the sea as some float away on the water's surface. The figure is surrounded by scattered coins and debris from what appears to have been a shipwreck, suggesting loss or failure in one part of their business while others are thriving nearby. In contrast, other stacks of coins remain intact near them but slightly out of reach, hinting at potential gains yet untapped.

Crypto News

Coinshares: Where Losing Money Is Just Part of Their Business Plan to Make More Money

The great news just keeps rolling out for Coinshares! Another quarter, another profit from their dubious dealings with crypto companies that inevitably go bankrupt. I mean […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

An illustration of an old, worn-out plane flying low in the sky with smoke coming out from its engines while behind it flies a sleek modern jet leaving contrails that form into dollar signs. The background is filled with dark grey clouds representing uncertainty or danger. In contrast to this scene, below and far away on the horizon there's a sunny landscape where people are walking towards an airport terminal in happiness. A small plane can be seen landing safely at one of its gates while passengers disembark smiling.

Altcoins

Israel’s El Al Airlines Just Signed a $2.5 Billion Deal for 737 MAX Planes Because Who Needs Safety and Timeliness Anyway

Israel’s El Al Airlines, because what every country needs is more middle-aged men in suits making questionable decisions with other people's money! They've decided to shell […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

Bitcoin

Ripple Wins Huge Victory Over Sec But Still Faces Crushing Reality Of Having To Pay A Fine That’s Only Marginally Less Embarrassing Than Losing

Ripple's chief legal officer Stuart Alderoty has been spouting off about how great their win was against the SEC. Newsflash: a $125 million fine is not […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a globe divided into two hemispheres by an axis labeled as "Tradition" on one side and "Innovation" on the other. The left hemisphere is filled with old-fashioned calculators, paper ledgers, and filing cabinets while the right hemisphere features futuristic skyscrapers, robots working at desks, and digital screens displaying financial data in real-time.

Bitcoin

UAE And UK Team Up To Create The World’s Most Confusing Guidebook For Rich People Who Invested Too Much Money In Bitcoin

Oh boy, here we go again! Another bunch of accountants trying to make sense out of this crypto nonsense. The UAE is partnering with ICAEW (Institute […]

Linda Williams August 16, 2024

An illustration: A cartoon crypto trading and lending platform (Abra) with an alarm clock ringing in front of it. The platform is shown as crumbling down into pieces while a red "Collapse Imminent" sign appears above the scene, amidst falling coins and dollar signs. In the background, people are running away from the collapsing structure, looking worried or panicked. A few investors can be seen holding their heads in despair, surrounded by scattered papers with numbers on them. The atmosphere is chaotic and tense, conveying a sense of urgency and warning to withdraw funds immediately.

Crypto News

Abra’s Collapse Imminent Because You Clearly Should Have Known Better

Oh boy, another crypto scam bites the dust. Who's surprised? Not me! I mean come on folks, it was only a matter of time before these […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a downward curve with decreasing tokens falling off it and disappearing into thin air. A few remaining tokens are stuck in place on top, while others float away as crvUSD coins rise up from below to catch them. The background is filled with small locked veCRV symbols that seem to be holding the platform together. In the distance a DAO building stands tall amidst greenery and vines indicating growth and sustainability. A faint image of Michael Egorov can be seen walking away in the far left corner, looking back at the scene with a smile on his face.

Crypto News

Curve Finance: Because Who Needs More CRV Tokens Anyway

So here we have another "exciting" update from cryptocurrency land. The people behind Curve Finance are celebrating because they've managed to reduce their token emissions for […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of two figures: one dressed as a millionaire with gold coins spilling out from his pockets, standing next to an overflowing treasure chest; another figure wearing casual clothes holding a small wallet and looking at the ground. The background is filled with dollar signs swirling around them in different directions. A large coin splits between both characters but leans towards the wealthy individual. In contrast, one of the figures' shoes has fallen off while trying to keep up with their wealthier counterpart's pace.

Crypto News

Crypto Bro Millionaires Made More Money Than Average Joe on Thursday but Only if You Count Losses as a Form of Income

The never-ending saga of crypto bros trying to make money off their precious cryptocurrencies continues. Thursday was no exception as US Bitcoin ETFs somehow managed to […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

An illustration of Kamala Harris standing in front of an American flag with chains and locks wrapped around it; she is surrounded by three broken bank vaults, each labeled 'Silicon Valley Bank', 'Silvergate' and 'Signature'; a large hammer lies at her feet next to a pile of rubble. In the background, two figures are seen walking away from the scene carrying briefcases marked with economic policy documents. The overall atmosphere is dark and ominous. A faint image of an X post can be seen on one side of the illustration.

Bitcoin

Kamala Harris Announces Plan to Destroy Your Life and Ruin the Entire Economy With Her Crushing Crypto Crackdown

I'm not surprised that Kamala Harris is doubling down on Biden's anti-crypto policies - it just goes to show what a bunch of out-of-touch, crypto-hating elitists […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

Crypto News

SEC Gets PWND by Judge Over Ripple Case and Loses Big Time but Still Manages to Keep Their Job

Another day, another Ripple drama to satirize! Let's break it down: so there was this huge lawsuit where the SEC ( Securities and Exchange Commission) tried […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a large globe with many interconnected gears inside it; some gears have dollar signs on them while others appear broken or rusty; at the top, an AI robot is shown holding a key that unlocks one of the working gears which releases a small amount of money into space as other gears continue to spin and break. In the background, there are faint images of blockchain blocks being stacked up with some having dollar signs on them while others appear empty or have question marks over them;

Regulation/Negotiation

Decentralized Artificial Intelligence Platform Secures 43 Million Dollars Because That’s Exactly What the World Needed More Of

Well well well! Look at this mess of buzzwords: "Decentralized", "Artificial Intelligence", "Blockchain-based" - it's like a crypto bro vomited all over my keyboard! But seriously, […]

Linda Williams August 16, 2024

Crypto News

Robinhood Rakes It in as Clueless Cryptocurrency Enthusiasts Send Money Down the Drain Like There’s No Tomorrow

Oh boy, here we go again! Another day, another bunch of numbers on a computer being touted as "revenue" by some overpriced brokerage firm. Robinhood is […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of two people running away from an explosion with flames rising behind them; one person holding onto a briefcase labeled "ETF" while the other is carrying a large sack marked "$". In the background, there's a cityscape with skyscrapers and buildings on fire. The sky above is darkened by smoke and ash clouds. A massive crater has formed in the ground where an explosion occurred earlier. Flames are licking at the edges of the crater as it smolders. To one side, two people stand watching from a distance; they're dressed in business attire but look worried.

Crypto News

Bitcoin and Ethereum ETFs: Because Getting Rich Quick Is Clearly Not Working Out

The crypto bros can't even get rich quick right! It seems they're just getting poor slow instead. The spot Bitcoin ETFs have lost $89 million this […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of an empty shopping cart with groceries scattered around it on the floor and a single egg lying broken in front. The background is filled with rising prices charts displayed as balloons floating away from each other. A person stands next to the cart looking frustrated, holding their head in despair. In the distance, people are seen walking away carrying bags of food but they're all wearing masks indicating high costs or inflation. Above them a large banner reads 'Inflation' while below it another one says 'Still Unaffordable'.

Crypto News

Inflation Suddenly Hits 3% and People Everywhere Realize They Still Can’t Afford Anything

Inflation is down, yay! I guess you can't call it 'inflated' anymore since prices are just moderately increasing. The average Joe will still be grumpy about […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration depicting 20 balloons floating upwards with varying levels of deflation; some have popped while others remain inflated but at different heights indicating their relative success or failure. A large balloon dominates the center and is nearly fully inflated representing Morpho's significant funding round. The background features a subtle image of a market downturn, represented by falling stocks and coins. In the distance, several smaller balloons are seen floating away from each other as they disintegrate into tiny pieces signifying their demise in an unprofitable venture.

Crypto News

20 Crypto Startups Raise $141.3 Million Because Apparently Nobody Learned Anything From Watching Their Previous 1000 Siblings Crash and Burn

Another batch of crypto startups has managed to swindle investors out of $141 million. Because who needs real returns when you can get 10x your money […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

Bitcoin

Crypto Market Soars to New Heights Because Clearly We All Need a Reason to Lose Our Shirts This Week

Oh boy, here we go again! Another day, another bunch of gullible idiots throwing money into cryptocurrency thinking they're getting rich quick. Newsflash: you're not. You're […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a man with a sly expression being handcuffed behind his back, while holding onto an empty briefcase labeled as "CDN" (Coin Dispute Network), in front of him is a large pile of ethereum coins spilling out from the suitcase; he's standing on top of a Las Vegas sign. In the background are two men with badges and sunglasses looking at each other satisfied. The man being handcuffed has his eyes cast downward, while one of the agents looks up to glance directly at the viewer. A faint image of a blockchain pattern is visible in the sky above them.

Ethereum

Fake Crypto Recovery Service Operator Arrested and Charged: The One Guy Who Actually Got Caught Doing What Thousands of Others Are Still Getting Away With

Oh boy, it's about time someone got caught for running a crypto scam! I mean, come on folks, if you're going to get rich quick with […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

Bitcoin

Microstrategy Shares Now 100% Owned by Overweight Guys With Too Much Time on Their Hands

The pension funds are in on it now too! South Korea's National Pension Service has invested nearly $34 million into shares of MicroStrategy because who wouldn't […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

NFTs

Dubai’s DIFC Just Partnered With the One Company That Actually Makes You Lose Money on Blockchain

Oh boy, here we go again. The latest attempt by crypto bros to legitimize their "industry" is a partnership between Ripple and some financial center in […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of an oversized hand holding out a giant check to someone standing on top of a mountain range with skyscrapers and trees below them; the person is surrounded by dollar signs that are rising up like balloons. The mountains in the background have cracks spreading through them, while at their base lies a pit filled with broken coffee cups and discarded food wrappers. In contrast, the foreground has lush greenery growing out of cracked earth as if new life was sprouting from it;

Bitcoin

New CEO of Major Corporation to Get Paid More Than Entire Nations in Order

Well isn't this just peachy? The new CEO of Starbucks is going to get paid an absolute fortune for doing... well, not much it seems. Brian […]

Doug Martinez August 16, 2024

An illustration of a sinking ship with anchors and ropes breaking free from the hull, while above it several yachts are sailing away into the distance amidst stormy seas; at the bottom of the sea floor lies an empty wallet surrounded by coins slowly disappearing down a drain. A giant Bitcoin is shown being halved in two pieces as they sink below the waves together with other smaller Bitcoins and dollar bills. In the background, clouds made from smoke billow out into space while lightning illuminates the dark sky; nearby several seagulls are flying away carrying small bags of money.

Bitcoin

Public Miners Raised 2.22 Billion Dollars So They Can Still Afford Their Yacht Collections

Well it looks like the crypto bros are at it again! Raising billions of dollars through debt financing because their precious Bitcoin mining operations can't turn […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

Business Environment

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