You Won’t Believe These 9 Crypto Projects Are Actually Real (Spoiler Alert: They’re Not)
The Cryptocurrency Circus: A Never-Ending Parade of Absurdity.
Blockchain
WARNING! This Mysterious ‘Decentralized’ VPN Will Finally Make You Invisible From the Prying Eyes of Big Brother (Or So We’ve Been Told)
The DePIN dream: a blockchain-powered VPN for all...or so they say.
BREAKING: Sony Creates New Blockchain Because Who Needs Actual Value When You Can Just Make Up a Web3 Buzzword?
Well, it looks like the Emperor's New Clothes are getting a blockchain makeover - Sony is launching its very own layer-2 blockchain called Soneium because apparently […]
Tether Says No to Blockchain Launch: We’re Too Cool for Our Own Technology
There's nothing quite like watching cryptocurrency companies eat their own lunch. I mean, who needs your own blockchain when you can just use someone else's? Paolo […]
You Won’t Believe the Shocking Truth About Video Game Developers and Their Inability to Keep a Simple Chat Server Secure
The cryptocurrency community's favorite pastime: getting hacked!.
Franklin Templeton Invests Entire Life Savings in Avalanche Network Because Reasons
The crypto bros are at it again! This time they've convinced a major asset management firm like Franklin Templeton that blockchain is somehow revolutionary or innovative […]
Blockchain Startup Secures 80 Million Dollars and Suddenly Everyone’s an Expert on the Future of Decentralized Everything
Ahahahaha! Here we go again - another overhyped blockchain startup trying to make a buck off of naive investors who think that "Web3" is more than […]
VanEcks Never Ending Quest to Make You Lose Money in a Solana ETF Continues Unabated
Just when you thought it was safe to get back into cryptocurrency, VanEck comes along and reminds us all that Solana is still a thing. Because […]
State Street Launches Digital Asset Platform Because Institutional Clients Clearly Don’t Have Enough Problems Already
The latest news from State Street is a joke right? They're partnering up with Taurus to create some kind of digital asset platform for institutional clients […]
The Web3 Firm So Bad Google Had to Give It Money
The latest Web3 nonsense from Google's Cloud Startup Program: because what we really need is another overhyped AI firm that promises moonshot returns but delivers nothing […]
Biden’s Secret Plan To Bribe Entire Population With Free Bitcoin And Make Everyone Instantly Love Him
The absurdity of it all! Democrats are now launching a "Crypto for Harris" initiative because, apparently, they think this will somehow help their candidate win. As […]
UAE And UK Team Up To Create The World’s Most Confusing Guidebook For Rich People Who Invested Too Much Money In Bitcoin
Oh boy, here we go again! Another bunch of accountants trying to make sense out of this crypto nonsense. The UAE is partnering with ICAEW (Institute […]
Decentralized Artificial Intelligence Platform Secures 43 Million Dollars Because That’s Exactly What the World Needed More Of
Well well well! Look at this mess of buzzwords: "Decentralized", "Artificial Intelligence", "Blockchain-based" - it's like a crypto bro vomited all over my keyboard! But seriously, […]
Dubai’s DIFC Just Partnered With the One Company That Actually Makes You Lose Money on Blockchain
Oh boy, here we go again. The latest attempt by crypto bros to legitimize their "industry" is a partnership between Ripple and some financial center in […]
Eth Squeezes Out a Tiny Bit Less Blood Than Usual as Ethereum Mania Reaches New Heights and Everyone Still Loses Their Shirt
The Grayscale Ethereum Trust is finally bleeding less money after hemorrhaging nearly $2.3 billion since launch. I'm sure it's just a coincidence that this comes as […]
Bitdeer’S Mining Magic: We Doubled Our Profits And Now You Owe Us More Money
Oh boy, here we go again! Another "exciting" earnings report from a cryptocurrency company that's just trying to make it big by mining some numbers on […]
Hong Kong Virtual Banks Bet Everything On Web3 Fad Despite Having All The Financial Acumen Of A Kindergarten Class Trying To Run A Casino
Oh boy, here we go again! The Hong Kong virtual banks are still trying to figure out how to make money by catering to Web3 companies […]
Ripple Finally Does Something Slightly Less Terrible Than Usual And Gets Mainnet Stablecoin Approval
It's about time those scammers at Ripple Labs finally did something useful. Who needs another stablecoin when we already have USD? Oh wait, this one is […]
Synthetix Finally Admits They Have No Original Ideas And Are Just Copying Chainlink Because Their V3 Exchange Is Launching On Arbitrum
Another day another crypto bro trying to make a quick buck with their "innovative" new oracle. Listen folks, it's not innovative when you're just copying and […]
DEF Buys Patent That Will Instantly Become Worthless As Soon As Someone Else Figures Out How To Sue Them Anyway
The patent troll drama continues! DEF buys a useless patent to save MakerDAO and Compound from getting sued by another worthless entity called True Return Systems […]
Coinbase Finally Shows Gritty Resolve To Not Get Completely Sued By Feds
Oh boy, it looks like Coinbase is finally getting some things right... albeit after years of trying to scam investors with its overpriced and useless services. […]
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