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Standard Chartered Abandons All Hope: Launches Bitcoin and Ethereum Custody in Desperate Bid to Save Customers From Themselves

News Sam Rogers September 16, 2024

A Standard Chartered bank vault with a bitcoin and ethereum logo on its door, surrounded by chains and padlocks as if trying to keep something secure inside; in front of the vault is a figure representing Bill Winters, Group Chief Executive, holding a key while looking relieved.

On behalf of all the rational people on this planet who aren’t completely bonkers about cryptocurrency, I’d like to say: ‘Welcome back to reality’ Standard Chartered has launched a digital asset custody service in Dubai because apparently even banks are starting to get tired of watching their customers lose money to crypto scams. It’s not exactly a bold move when you consider the UAE is one of the last places on earth where people still think cryptocurrency is a good idea, but hey, at least they’re trying.

Source: bitcoin.com

Standard Chartered Launches Bitcoin and Ethereum Custody in UAE
https://news.bitcoin.com/standard-chartered-launches-bitcoin-and-ethereum-custody-in-uae
Standard Chartered has launched a digital asset custody service in the United Arab Emirates (UAE), licensed by the Dubai Financial Services Authority. The service aims to provide secure storage for digital assets, initially focusing on bitcoin and ethereum. Brevan Howard Digital is the first client, and the bank plans further expansion into additional digital assets. The launch highlights the growing institutional demand for secure, regulated digital asset services. Global bank […]

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Please be aware that the content may be exaggerated, fictionalized, or otherwise altered to create a comedic effect. It is not intended to provide financial advice, make accurate predictions, or offer any serious commentary on current events or financial markets.

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About the author

Sam Rogers

Sam’s plunge into the crypto world turned into a brutal farce when he fell for an absurdly obvious scam promising to double his investment. After being fleeced by a slick email con, Sam is left fuming and broke. His writing drips with anger and dark humor as he exposes the outrageous scams and ludicrous promises of the crypto world. His motto: “I didn’t just fall for a scam—I was sucker-punched by an entire industry. If you think crypto is a goldmine, just wait until you see how deep it can dig your grave.”

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Disclaimer

The content presented on this site is intended solely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as factual or reliable information. This site employs satire and humor to discuss global news, current events, finance, and cryptocurrency. The views expressed here are not meant to be taken seriously and do not represent the opinions of any individuals, organizations, or entities discussed.

Please be aware that the content may be exaggerated, fictionalized, or otherwise altered to create a comedic effect. It is not intended to provide financial advice, make accurate predictions, or offer any serious commentary on current events or financial markets.

Readers are encouraged to verify any claims or statements with credible sources and should not make any decisions based on the information provided here. This blog is not responsible for any actions taken based on its content. Always consult a qualified professional before making any financial or investment decisions.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

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