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Get Ready: Crypto Gravy Train Just Derailed into a Bottomless Pit of Desperation as Regulators Give Thumbs Up to Even More Ways to Lose Your Shirt Investing in Worthless Digital Tokens

AltcoinsDeFiEthereum 1 Barry Thompson August 15, 2024

An illustration of a rocket ship blasting off into space with various digital assets and cryptocurrencies floating around it, some already on their way to orbit while others are still falling back down towards Earth; in the background there is an image of a cityscape at night representing growth and expansion. The rocket's trail behind it forms a path that splits into multiple smaller trails as if branching out into different directions signifying diversification and new paths being taken, with some parts forming stars or constellations to represent the future possibilities;

Because what’s better for investors than a whole bunch of new ways to throw money at worthless digital tokens? Grayscale is thrilled that people are still falling over themselves to buy their Bitcoin and Ethereum funds, despite the fact that these assets have no inherent value. And now they’re looking to expand into even more “opportunities” like Solana ETFs – because who doesn’t love a good bet on an obscure cryptocurrency with a tiny market cap?

Meanwhile, Dave Lavalle is over here talking about how surprised he was by the speed at which regulators approved these funds. Yeah, I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that Wall Street has been salivating for years over getting in on this crypto gravy train.

But hey, who needs regulation when you’ve got massive inflows of money from gullible investors? Grayscale is raking it in – more than 15 billion dollars worth of new funds. That’s just peachy. And I’m sure all those poor souls will be thrilled to hear that their investment returns are likely to tank at any moment.

National securities exchanges want a piece of the action too, because why not? Options on BTC and ETH ETFs – it’s like they’re trying to create some sort of crypto casino where people can bet even more money on these worthless tokens. Stay tuned for more!

Source: cointelegraph

Crypto ETFs will expand to new asset types, indexes — Grayscale executive
https://cointelegraph.com/news/crypto-etfs-expand-new-asset-types-indexes-grayscale-executive
The market for cryptocurrency exchange-traded funds (ETFs) will expand to encompass new types of digital assets as well as diversified crypto indexes, according to an executive at asset manager Grayscale Investments.  “We're going to see a number of more single asset products, and then also certainly some index based and diversified products,” Dave Lavalle, Grayscale’s global head of ETFs, said during an Aug. 12 webinar. Grayscale is among the largest […]

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About the author

Barry Thompson

Barry’s crypto nightmare began when he bought Bitcoin at $3, thinking he’d stumbled upon the financial opportunity of a lifetime. He sold his stash at $100, only to watch in dismay as Bitcoin soared to absurd heights. Now, Barry channels his rage into scathing articles about the crypto circus, seething with resentment at the digital gold rush he barely missed. His motto: “I sold out at $100, but the joke’s on me because the real joke was believing in this absurd circus.”

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Disclaimer

The content presented on this site is intended solely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as factual or reliable information. This site employs satire and humor to discuss global news, current events, finance, and cryptocurrency. The views expressed here are not meant to be taken seriously and do not represent the opinions of any individuals, organizations, or entities discussed.

Please be aware that the content may be exaggerated, fictionalized, or otherwise altered to create a comedic effect. It is not intended to provide financial advice, make accurate predictions, or offer any serious commentary on current events or financial markets.

Readers are encouraged to verify any claims or statements with credible sources and should not make any decisions based on the information provided here. This blog is not responsible for any actions taken based on its content. Always consult a qualified professional before making any financial or investment decisions.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

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