Ethereum: Because Who Needs A Functional Blockchain When You Can Have Free Transactions And An Endless Supply Of Worthless Tokens?

The Ethereum blockchain is plummeting like a cryptocurrency-themed Hindenburg disaster – gas fees are at a five-year low! Who needs security and stability when you can have cheap transactions? It’s not as if this will somehow magically fix all of the underlying problems with the network, but hey, maybe it’ll attract some more gullible investors to throw their money into the void.

Meanwhile, layer 2 networks are absorbing most of the activity, because who needs direct access to Ethereum when you can have a watered-down imitation? It’s like trying to enjoy a fine wine by drinking from a kiddie cup – sure, it might be cheaper and easier to use, but where’s the fun in that?

Gnosis co-founder Martin Köppelmann is warning about low gas fees being bad for staking rewards. Because what we really need are more incentives for people to validate transactions on this clunky old blockchain. Maybe he should just suggest raising taxes instead – at least then everyone would know exactly how much they’re getting screwed.

Ethereum’s supply has skyrocketed, because who needs scarcity when you can have an endless flood of worthless tokens? It’s like printing money out of thin air (which, coincidentally, is what this whole cryptocurrency thing was supposed to be about). And yet the value somehow remains… stable. Yeah right.