Background

Crypto Brots’ Wet Dream Implodes! VanEck Kills Ethereum Futures ETF Because Nobody Actually Wants Fake Money!

BitcoinCrypto NewsEthereum 1 Sam Rogers September 9, 2024

A crypto bro is shown standing on a cliff overlooking a cityscape with flames rising from his feet as he falls into a pit below, labeled 'Futures-Based Funds'. In the distance, a group of people are celebrating and holding up signs that read '$6.5 billion' in AUM for spot ETH ETFs.

The crypto bros are at it again! VanEck is shutting down its Ethereum futures-based ETF, citing a lack of demand and performance issues. And let’s be real, who needs actual value when you can create fake numbers on a computer? The spot Ether ETF launched by VanEck has already raked in $55 million in assets under management – no doubt thanks to the genius marketing strategy employed by these guys (read: throwing money at it until something sticks). Meanwhile, futures-based ETH ETFs are struggling with less than $170 million across all of them. It’s like they say: if you’re going to make a product that relies on fake assets and unnecessary complexity, don’t be surprised when nobody wants it.

Source: cointelegraph

VanEck to shutter Ethereum futures ETF
https://cointelegraph.com/news/van-eck-to-shutter-ethereum-futures-etf
Asset manager VanEck is shuttering its futures-based Ether (ETH) exchange-traded fund (ETF), citing insufficient demand as spot cryptocurrency ETFs dominate inflows, according to a Sept. 6 announcement. VanEck chose to close the fund due to factors “including performance, liquidity, assets under management, and investor interest,” it said.  Shares of the VanEck Ethereum Strategy ETF (EFUT) will stop trading on Sept. 16 and fund assets will be liquidated and returned to […]

Tagged as:

Share on

The content presented on this site is intended solely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as factual or reliable information. This site employs satire and humor to discuss global news, current events, finance, and cryptocurrency. The views expressed here are not meant to be taken seriously and do not represent the opinions of any individuals, organizations, or entities discussed.

Please be aware that the content may be exaggerated, fictionalized, or otherwise altered to create a comedic effect. It is not intended to provide financial advice, make accurate predictions, or offer any serious commentary on current events or financial markets.

Readers are encouraged to verify any claims or statements with credible sources and should not make any decisions based on the information provided here. This blog is not responsible for any actions taken based on its content. Always consult a qualified professional before making any financial or investment decisions.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

About the author

Sam Rogers

Sam’s plunge into the crypto world turned into a brutal farce when he fell for an absurdly obvious scam promising to double his investment. After being fleeced by a slick email con, Sam is left fuming and broke. His writing drips with anger and dark humor as he exposes the outrageous scams and ludicrous promises of the crypto world. His motto: “I didn’t just fall for a scam—I was sucker-punched by an entire industry. If you think crypto is a goldmine, just wait until you see how deep it can dig your grave.”

More posts

Previous

Next

You may also like

Disclaimer

The content presented on this site is intended solely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as factual or reliable information. This site employs satire and humor to discuss global news, current events, finance, and cryptocurrency. The views expressed here are not meant to be taken seriously and do not represent the opinions of any individuals, organizations, or entities discussed.

Please be aware that the content may be exaggerated, fictionalized, or otherwise altered to create a comedic effect. It is not intended to provide financial advice, make accurate predictions, or offer any serious commentary on current events or financial markets.

Readers are encouraged to verify any claims or statements with credible sources and should not make any decisions based on the information provided here. This blog is not responsible for any actions taken based on its content. Always consult a qualified professional before making any financial or investment decisions.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

We are the internet’s finest destination for poking fun at the wild world of cryptocurrency! We transform the bewildering jargon and frantic hype of the crypto market into a comedy spectacle that’s almost as volatile as crypto itself.

ABOUT
CONTACT
PRIVACY
IMPRINT
© 2024 Cryptobro Magazine
X-twitter