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Crypto: Because Who Needs Stability or Security Anyway?

News 1 Barry Thompson August 15, 2024

An illustration of the US flag being lowered in slow motion as it falls into darkness with broken chains around its pole; A bitcoin falling from an invisible hand through space towards Earth below. In the background are scattered images of stablecoins, hardware wallets, a Nasdaq logo, and faint outlines of hackers' screens displaying malicious firmware. The scene is set against a backdrop of cryptic symbols representing market fluctuations. At the bottom left corner lies a broken seed word with its fragments floating away in different directions.

The never-ending saga of cryptocurrency’s greatest hits (or should I say misses?). So, the SEC has delayed its decision on approving an ETF that tracks 10 major cryptos because… why not? It’s not like they have better things to do than prolong this farce.

Meanwhile, Tether is printing money – or rather, stablecoins – at a rate of over $1 billion since the market crash. Because what could possibly go wrong with creating more tokens that are supposed to be backed by actual cash (but aren’t)? It’s not like they’re just inflating a bubble for investors to jump into.

And in other news, hackers have found a new way to steal your Bitcoin seed words from hardware wallets because… who needs security? This “Dark Skippy” vulnerability is the perfect example of why you shouldn’t rely on these fancy-schmancy crypto gadgets. Just use a paper wallet and be done with it (just kidding, those are insecure too).

The only thing that’s not surprising about this whole mess is how predictable it all is. The market crashes, Tether prints more tokens, hackers find new ways to steal your cash… yawn.

Source: cointelegraph

Here’s what happened in crypto today
https://cointelegraph.com/news/what-happened-in-crypto-today
United States regulators have postponed a decision regarding the listing of the Hashdex Nasdaq Crypto Index exchange-traded fund (ETF). Since the recent cryptop market crash, Tether has printed over $1 billion worth of stablecoins. Meanwhile, security researchers have discovered a concerning new way for hackers to steal seed words from Bitcoin hardware wallets.  According to an Aug. 9 regulatory filing, US regulators have postponed their decision on whether to approve […]

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About the author

Barry Thompson

Barry’s crypto nightmare began when he bought Bitcoin at $3, thinking he’d stumbled upon the financial opportunity of a lifetime. He sold his stash at $100, only to watch in dismay as Bitcoin soared to absurd heights. Now, Barry channels his rage into scathing articles about the crypto circus, seething with resentment at the digital gold rush he barely missed. His motto: “I sold out at $100, but the joke’s on me because the real joke was believing in this absurd circus.”

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Disclaimer

The content presented on this site is intended solely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as factual or reliable information. This site employs satire and humor to discuss global news, current events, finance, and cryptocurrency. The views expressed here are not meant to be taken seriously and do not represent the opinions of any individuals, organizations, or entities discussed.

Please be aware that the content may be exaggerated, fictionalized, or otherwise altered to create a comedic effect. It is not intended to provide financial advice, make accurate predictions, or offer any serious commentary on current events or financial markets.

Readers are encouraged to verify any claims or statements with credible sources and should not make any decisions based on the information provided here. This blog is not responsible for any actions taken based on its content. Always consult a qualified professional before making any financial or investment decisions.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

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