You Won’t Believe the Shocking Truth About Crypto! $5.6 Billion Stolen, 71% of Victims Sucked Into Get-Rich-Quick Scams!
It's official: cryptocurrency has become the ultimate get-rich-quick scheme for scammers and suckers alike.
Stories
YOU WON’T BELIEVE What Happens When You Let Your Friends Handle the Family Cryptocurrency: $3.5 MILLION STOLEN, 12 PEOPLE IN PRISON!
I've got a great idea! Let's create a new form of currency that's completely digital, has no inherent value, and is only worth something because we […]
xAI’s ‘Gigantic’ Models Are Too Big for Cars, or So Says Elon Musk in Latest Baffling Tech Sales Pitch
It's official: Elon Musk is at it again, peddling his snake oil AI tech to anyone who will listen. This time, he claims xAI isn't looking […]
Blockchain Miracle: Local Test Server Somehow Manages to Confirm Transactions in Under 1 Second Without Completely Melting Down
The never-ending quest for speed in blockchain land has led to yet another 'record-breaking' achievement by Sonic Blockchain - a whopping 720ms finality time on its […]
BOMBSHELL: Trump’s Crypto Platform Gets Hacked, Again… But This Time It’s Not Russia, It’s Just a Bunch of Scammers Giving Away $15,000 Because They’re Nice
You'd think that after all these years of warning people about cryptocurrency, we wouldn't still see so many gullible idiots falling for scams like this one […]
Magic Eden Segregates US Users Because Who Needs Equal Treatment When There’s Money to Be Made?!
}The great NFT segregation of 2024: because what's a little bit of censorship when you're trying to make money off gullible idiots? Magic Eden is at […]
BREAKING: You Won’t Believe the Devastating News That Will Wipe Out Your Entire Crypto Portfolio (Spoiler Alert)
The cryptocurrency bubble is finally popping... on Vaneck's Ethereum Futures ETF!.
You Won’t Believe the Jaw-Dropping Prices of These 10 Cryptocurrencies – We’ve Got All the Mind-Blowing Charts!
Price analysis? More like a laundry list of pointless numbers and charts for crypto bros to drool over!.
The Great Decentralization Scam EXPOSED! (But Only One Guy Thinks So)
The great decentralization con: Yat Siu's pipe dream.
Crypto Chaos Erupts as Telegram Gets Raided by Accountants in Suits, Opensea Forced to Use Excel
Crypto: where the only thing more abundant than hype is regulatory scrutiny.
DOOMED: TON Trainwreck Derails Entire Internet, DOGS MemeCoin Causes Global Blackout (Because Who Needs Functionality Anyway?)
The TON trainwreck continues to chug along, leaving a trail of broken dreams and DOGS-themed merchandise in its wake. It seems that all it takes is […]
Radical Cuts Ahead! ‘DeFi Darling’ Dumps 1 in 7 Employees Like Yesterday’s Trash Because, You Know, Refocusing Is Code for We Ran Out of Money
Radix's latest round of layoffs is just another nail in the coffin of this DeFi dumpster fire.
TON Implodes AGAIN in Breathtaking Display of Blockchain Brilliance
The never-ending saga of The Open Network (TON) and its DOGS-related outages continues, because what's a blockchain without some good old-fashioned instability? It seems like just […]
You Won’t Believe the Shocking Reason Why Another Day, Another Dollar (Not) Transacted on the Open Network’s Super-Stable Blockchain
The Open Network: Because Nothing Says 'Stability' Like a Cryptocurrency That Can't Even Handle Memecoins.
Telegram Founder Pavel Durov Detained, Because You Know What They Say About Free Speech
Just when you thought it was safe to go back online... Pavel Durov's detention has got everyone buzzing like a crypto bro at a Bitcoin conference […]
Buenos Aires High Schools Now Teaching Students How to Lose Their Life Savings on Cryptocurrency Because Who Needs Basic Education Anyway?
Argentina's Ministry of Education has decided that the best way to prepare its students for a future filled with crippling debt and economic uncertainty is by […]
BREAKING: Robert F Kennedy Jr Abandons Presidential Dreams, Joins Forces With Donald Trump in Bizarre Cryptocurrency Coup to Steal Your Soul (And Maybe a Few Votes)
Robert F Kennedy Jr, the great white hope of cryptocurrency enthusiasts everywhere, has finally realized that his chances of becoming president were as slim as my […]
BREAKING: Your Crypto Dreams Are Officially Doomed as Court Rips Apart Kraken Like a Tuna Can
It looks like Kraken's crypto dreams just got a whole lot more expensive - not in Bitcoin or Ethereum, mind you, but in legal fees and […]
Why Perplexity AI Just Unleashed the Most Brilliant Marketing Strategy Ever: ADVERTISING ON CHATBOTS, BECAUSE WHO DOESN’T LOVE a GOOD HEMORRHOID CREAM SPOT DURING CONVERSATION?
...and now they're trying to monetize their fancy chatbots with ads! Because what's a few more dollars per thousand impressions when you can make your users' […]
It’s Back to the Future for Your Money… Again! Wazirx Resumes Withdrawals on Aug 26, Because Yesterday Was Just a Dream
WazirX: Where Cryptocurrency Dreams Come Crashing Down (Again).
Bombshell! Meta’s Next-Gen Headset Axed in Bizarre Twist of Fate, Leaving Millions to Wonder if They’ve Been Scammed Into Buying Overpriced Glasses for Their Face!
Meta's Metaverse Mishap: A Cautionary Tale of Overhyping VR.
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