Xapo Bank Enters UK Market Because We Clearly Haven’t Learned Anything From 2008
It's official now - Xapo Bank is finally here! Because what every country needs more of is a bank that thinks it can make money by […]
Retail Investors
EigenLayer TVL Somehow Magically Defies All Logic and Reason by Hitting 129 Billion Dollars…but Will the Bubble Burst Before You Can Even Say “I Should Have Sold When I Was Ahead”?
Well isn't this just peachy? Another crypto scam has reached new heights and is making its investors richer...for now. EigenLayer TVL hits a whopping $12.9 billion […]
Paxful Co-Founder Caught Red Handed in Epic AML Fail – Now He’ll Be Singing a Different Tune for Next 5 Years
The Paxful co-founder gets caught with his pants down for failing to do even the bare minimum when it comes to anti-money laundering protocols! What's next, […]
MSTX the Ultimate Risk-It-All Machine: Get Ready for 175% Upside or Downside in One Single, Sizzling Hot Bet on Microstrategy
The eternal quest for get-rich-quick schemes has led us down another rabbit hole with Defiance ETFs' latest creation: MSTX, an 175% leveraged single-stock exchange-traded fund focused […]
Buterin Unleashes Frenzied 500K Cash Stampede on Charity With Bizarre Animal Coin Collection
Cryptocurrency's latest trend is animal-themed coins for charity - who would've thought? Vitalik Buterin, Ethereum co-founder, decided that instead of letting these tokens just collect dust […]
Flowbank Collapse: The Unlikely Savior of Your Entire Life Savings
The grandeur of cryptocurrency is truly a wondrous thing. A whole market built upon nothing but thin air and reckless abandon for good sense. And now […]
Bitcoin Trust: Because You Clearly Haven’t Lost Enough Money Yet
Well well well. Look who's trying to make it big on Wall Street - Grayscale Bitcoin Mini Trust! Because what we really need is another way […]
Haun Ventures Throws Money at Chaos Labs Because Clearly Throwing Cash Solves All Problems and Blockchain Security Is Just Around the Corner of Being Actually Secure
Here we go again - another bunch of crypto bros trying to make a buck off their "blockchain security" nonsense. Chaos Labs has somehow managed to […]
Crypto Investors Are About to Get Ripped Off Again
The latest market shock has Wall Street sounding alarm bells about a potential AI bubble burst that might spell disaster for crypto AI projects
Australia Just Found Out 2000 People Are Really Bad at Keeping Their Crypto Wallets Safe From Hackers Who Were Waiting for Them to Screw Up
The crypto bros are at it again! Over 2,000 Australians got their wallets hacked because they can't even be bothered to secure them properly. And you […]
Kim Dotcom Still Hasn’t Figured Out How to Leave
The eternal optimist Kim Dotcom is back with another chapter of his seemingly endless saga against extradition - what's the over/under on how long until he […]
Immutable Gets Suckered Into Using Fireblocks Because They Finally Realized That Handling Digital Assets Isn’t as Easy as Just Making a Bunch of Empty Hype
It's time again to talk about blockchain technology and its 'revolutionary' applications - this time, it's Web3 gaming! Because what we really need is for more […]
Matter Labs Loses Bid for Zk Trademark Because Nobody Actually Cares About Zero-Knowledge Proofs
The eternal farce that is cryptocurrency continues, with another developer getting burned because they thought they could trademark something in a space where everyone knows it's […]
Donald Trump Just Made 7000000 Dollars From NFTs and Now He Thinks the Whole World Should Be a Giant Digital Art Gallery
It's time for America to get its priorities straight - we're talking about Donald Trump here, folks! The man who once scoffed at cryptocurrency is now […]
Malaysian Kidnappers Kidnap Chinese Man for the Totally-Not-Scammy Cryptocurrency Everyone Loves to Hate
Well well well! Look what we have here. A bunch of Malaysian kidnappers trying to make a quick buck off some poor Chinese dude with the […]
Microstrategy Shares Now 100% Owned by Overweight Guys With Too Much Time on Their Hands
The pension funds are in on it now too! South Korea's National Pension Service has invested nearly $34 million into shares of MicroStrategy because who wouldn't […]
US Just Can’t Get Enough of Losing Money to Ethereum ETFs and Still Wants More
The cryptocurrency community is still trying to wrap its head around this one - a bunch of people are losing money so fast it's like they're […]
WazirX: Because Your Money Was Never Actually Yours Anyway
The eternal saga of cryptocurrency's most ardent fans getting fleeced by hackers and scammers continues unabated! This time, it’s India-based exchange WazirX that finds itself on […]
New CEO of Major Corporation to Get Paid More Than Entire Nations in Order
Well isn't this just peachy? The new CEO of Starbucks is going to get paid an absolute fortune for doing... well, not much it seems. Brian […]
OKX Wallet Suddenly Realizes That Maybe Not Everyone Uses Only Ethereum and Now Theyre Doing Something About It
Well, well, well! It seems like we have another instance of trying to make blockchain sound exciting by using buzzwords and overly complicated explanations. Blinks are […]
Ethereum Traders Now Officially Experts in Predicting the Exact Date of Their Own Inevitable Bankruptcy at an Average Price Per Month
Crypto traders are at it again - this time they're warning of an impending doom for Ether's price, which is currently trading above $2K. Analysts like […]
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