BREAKING: Biden Just Appointed a Secret Society of Elites to Run the SEC and It’s EXACTLY What Cryptocurrency Haters Have Been WAITING For
New SEC Chair: Crypto's Best Hope or Worst Nightmare? - A Leadership Vacuum Looms After Trump Fires Gensler.
Regulation/Negotiation
COBALT ALERT: You Won’t Believe the 5 New ‘Luxury’ Futures Contracts That Are About to Make Your Bank Account Weep Tears of Despair
Coinbase just decided to throw a bunch of shiny objects into its futures contract pool in hopes that retail traders will get distracted from the fact […]
XRP About to Plummet Into Oblivion as So-Called Gurus Predict Catastrophic Collapse — The Real Experts Weigh In
Crypto bros are at it again, spewing forth their 'god candles' and 'explosive rallies'. Meanwhile, I'm over here reading Jemima Kelly's takes on XRP like a […]
You Won’t Believe the ‘GIFT’ of Unsecured Transactions Given to Every Tourist by Mastercard
Mastercard's latest move: Because what every tourist really needed was another way to get scammed by shady merchants in Southeast Asia,.
BREAKING: Trump Stuns Wall Street With Shocking Re-Election Victory – JPMorgan’s MD Unleashes Crypto Apocalypse Plan
The crypto bros have lost their minds! JPMorgan is now salivating at the prospect of Bitcoin's resurgence due to Trump's re-election victory - because what could […]
You Won’t Believe the Absolutely Ridiculous Reason Behind This Billionaire’s Latest Bitcoin Heist
Semler Scientific's Bitcoin Bonanza: Because Who Needs a Profitable Business When You Can Have 1,058 Bitcoins? .
Gensler-Geddon Imminent: You Won’t Believe the Shocking New Plan That Will Ruin Your Cryptocurrency
Gensler-geddon: The SEC's crypto strategy about to get a Trump-style reboot.
Crypto Kingpin Caught Red-Handed: Bengal Man Arrested in Jaw-Dropping $235 Million Heist That’s About as Legit as a Bollywood Romance Novel
Just when you thought crypto couldn't get any more like a bad soap opera, here's another juicy scandal. A Bengal man has been arrested in connection […]
You Won’t Believe the Insane ‘Time Machine’ Hack That’s About to Ruin Your Life (And Make You Question Everything)
Smart Contracts: Because Who Needs Immutability, Anyway?.
You Won’t Believe Who Got Slaughtered by Bitcoin’s Latest Bloodbath – The Unbelievable Truth Behind the Mass Exodus
BTFD to BWFID: When spot Bitcoin ETFs go from 'Buy FUD' to 'Sell Everything', who's left holding the bag? In a move that can only be […]
MoonPay Unleashes Desperate Cry for Help: New ‘Balance’ Feature Is Just a Band-Aid on the Wound of Your Crypto Investment’s Total Worthlessness
Moon's getting brighter? Not if you're holding onto that crypto investment - it's still as worthless as a Monopoly money piece! The latest move by MoonPay […]
You Won’t Believe the CRAZY New Way to Moon Your Crypto: Spacecoin XYZ Launches Plan for Orbital Blockchain Network That’s Totally Not a Recipe for Disaster
Space, schmace – the latest crypto moonshot involves launching a blockchain network in outer space because apparently that's where all the good money goes these days. […]
Crypto’s Dirty Little Secret: How Your Money Can Be Stolen While You’re Busy Learning the Art of Clear Signing (It’s Not What You Think)
Crypto, where you can lose $50 million in 72 hours, but still manage to find time for a 'clear signing' workshop,.
YOU WON’T BELIEVE What REALLY Happened When India Stole $42 BILLION Worth of GOLD From the Bank of England Overnight
India's Gold Heist: The Ultimate Hedge Against Crypto Crash.
You Won’t Believe the Shocking New Way Rich People in Dubai Are Using Your Retirement Funds (Literally)
I mean, what's next? Tokenizing your aunt Mildred's 401k?.
Thailand’s Most Shockingly Corrupt Cops Will Steal Your Stablecoin – And Get Away With It (Until Now)
When you think Thailand's got a problem with corruption, just remember this tale of woe - where cops stage fake arrests and extort stablecoins from gullible […]
Florida Official Suggests Retirement Funds Diversify With Bitcoin to Save Your Life (And Their Own)
Just when you thought things couldn't get any more absurd - U.S state officials are now urging retirement funds to invest in Bitcoin, because what's a […]
Ethereum’s Insane $2.5K Plunge Is Just the Latest Chapter in Crypto Bro Circus
Crypto bros and their 'final dips' – we've seen this dance before, folks! It's like watching a group of middle schoolers trying to convince each other […]
SEC Just Greenlit Another XRP ETF Filing That Will Ruin Your Life
Regulatory roulette: The never-ending game of crypto cat and mouse - where do we draw the line? A new XRP ETF filing by 21shares has just […]
You Won’t Believe the Jaw-Dropping, Life-Changing Returns of These 3 Bitcoin ETFs… Or How They’re About to Ruin Your Finances
Crypto Bro's Guide to Getting Ripped Off: A Satirical Take on Bitcoin ETFs.
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