NFTs Archives - Page 4 of 6 - Cryptobro Magazine

An illustration depicting an anxious-looking stock market graph with falling lines amidst swirling storm clouds, while below it lies a calm sea representing stability; nearby is a large hand reaching out to lower interest rates as indicated by the decreasing height of water levels. The image conveys uncertainty and potential relief through contrasting elements. A subtle hint at economic turmoil can be seen in the turbulent waves on the surface of the sea, yet they gradually subside with each passing moment, suggesting an impending rate cut that could stabilize markets.

Feds About to Make Another $10 Trillion in Exciting Rate Cuts That Will Totally Change Everything

And so we're back at it again with another thrilling episode of "Will The Fed Cut Rates?" - because what's more exciting than watching grown adults […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

Crypto News

Aussie Court Gives Green Light for More People to Waste Their Money on Dubious Cryptocurrency Scheme and Still Get Screwed by Regulators

Australians are not getting richer off this stuff; they're just throwing good money after bad. The crypto bros will be ecstatic about this ruling but it […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

An illustration depicting an old-fashioned clockwork mechanism with gears jammed together as steam escapes through broken pipes; nearby lies discarded coal amidst scattered papers on which various Russian symbols are scribbled, while a faint image of a cryptocurrency mining rig can be seen in the background covered by dust and cobwebs. In contrast to this scene, there is an isolated section where modern computer hardware components glow softly under dim light as they seem to operate smoothly despite being disconnected from their surroundings;

Crypto News

Russia’s Quest for Regulatory Sanity Ends in Catastrophic Failure Due to Idiotic Banning of Crypto Mining

The eternal quest for Russian lawmakers to regulate something they clearly don’t understand – this time it’s cryptocurrency mining! Who needs clear rules when you can […]

Doug Martinez August 16, 2024

An illustration of a magician pulling out money from thin air with dollar and pound signs swirling around him. The background is filled with graphs showing economic data in red and green colors indicating rising or falling trends. A calendar on the wall shows September highlighted as it's being pulled towards the foreground by an invisible force, symbolizing the impending interest rate cut decision of the Federal Reserve. In the bottom left corner a faint image of two hands shaking can be seen through a broken glass window hinting at market volatility and uncertainty.

Crypto News

Fed’s Secret Plan to Steal Your Money Through Magic Numbers Looming

I'm not sure why anyone would still be investing their money in the stock market after all these years. It's like playing a game of roulette […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of an old man with a briefcase and walking stick standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking a valley filled with people holding coins in celebration below him; he is looking down relieved while his face shows signs of weariness. In the background there are clouds shaped like bitcoin symbols, some rising up to join them as others fade away into nothingness. The old man's clothes and briefcase have hints of Japanese culture incorporated into their design. A faint image of a clock ticking can be seen in one corner with its hands moving slowly towards 10 o'clock.

Altcoins

Mt Gox Creditors Left Hanging as Kraken Suddenly Realizes They’re Not Actually Gods

Well well well! Look at this mess of Mt.Gox coins finally getting distributed after almost 10 years and you know what? Nobody cares anymore because we […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of an Egyptian man sitting on a couch surrounded by empty cans and bottles while watching TV. The background is dimly lit but there's a faint glow from the screen showing images of beer advertisements. He looks relaxed with his eyes closed, seemingly enjoying himself. A few Moussy beers are placed in front of him along with some snacks like chips and popcorn. His family members sit on either side of him looking happy and content as well. The atmosphere is casual and laid-back indicating a fun night at home watching TV together.

Bitcoin

Brewers Discover Secret to Making Money: Not Charging for Beer (

You think you can just tap into zero-alcohol beer growth and rake it all in? Well let me tell you something my friends. In a region […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration: A large money bean is surrounded by smaller ones in the background while being held up high above two countries on either side, both shown as small islands and engulfed in a cloud-like substance representing cocaine smoke. The larger money bean has several strings attached to it that go through various shell company buildings with dollar signs floating around them. In the foreground, an image of Cartier's luxury goods is being torn apart by chains while USDT coins are falling from above like rain.

Crypto News

Cartier Family Member Indicted for Using Magic Money Beans to Launder Entire Small Countries in International Cocaine Cartel Scandal

Crypto: where you can launder hundreds of millions in drug money and still get invited to fancy parties! It's like the ultimate badge of honor among […]

Linda Williams August 16, 2024

An illustration: A cartoon figure representing Vanguard is standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking an ocean, while in the background several figures are jumping off into the water below labeled "Crypto ETFs". The Vanguard character has its arms crossed and appears to be looking away from the jumpers. In contrast, nearby waves show calm waters with some boats sailing on them representing stable investments. A small boat is approaching a safe harbor marked by lighthouses indicating protection against risks.

Bitcoin

New Vanguard CEO Still Not Stupid Enough to Jump Off the Crypto Cliff

So Vanguard is finally wise enough not to jump into this crypto trainwreck yet. Only time will tell if they're smart or just scared, but I'll […]

Sam Rogers August 16, 2024

An illustration of a central bank building in flames while people are running away from it holding briefcases, surrounded by smoke and firework explosions; below them is an image of 90% being crossed out. In the background there's a calendar with '2029' marked on one page. A token-shaped coin lies broken at their feet. The central bank building has a sign that reads "BSP" in bold letters, while people are wearing business attire and masks to protect themselves from smoke. There is an image of a clock ticking rapidly above the flames indicating time running out.

Crypto News

Philippines’ Central Bank Plans to Create a Token That Will Instantly Lose 90% of Its Value as Soon as It Hits the Market and Then Everyone Involved Will Be Fired

Another laughable attempt by a central bank to create something that will inevitably fail in spectacular fashion! The Philippines' Bangko Sentral ng Pilipinas (BSP) is planning […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

Crypto News

Congressman Calls SEC Chair the Worst Harasser Since Your Aunt at Thanksgiving

The crypto bros are at it again! They can't even get a regulation-by-harassment right without turning on each other. Meanwhile, I'm over here just waiting for […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of an empty wallet with cash flying out in all directions while being chased after by a giant hand holding a pair of scissors. The background features a calendar flipping to September and falling apart as it does so. A faint image of a person running away from the scene can be seen at the top, looking worried. In the foreground, there is an arrow pointing downwards with a red X marked through it next to some scattered coins.

Bitcoin

Fed Says September Will Be Great Month for Pretending You Have Money While Actually Having Less of It

Well isn't this peachy! The Federal Reserve thinks it's time for another rate cut because inflation has slowed down. You know what they say: "If you […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a giant talcum powder can with an open lid, releasing white clouds into the air as it falls towards bankruptcy court in Texas, while above it flies a plane carrying 75% support votes from claimants and below it crawls a snake representing asbestos claims that have been excluded. The background is filled with swirling stormy weather symbolizing J&J's turbulent legal battles. A smaller talcum powder can at the bottom of the illustration has "safe" written on its side, while another one in the distance bears an X marked through it signifying cancer-causing allegations.

Altcoins

Johnson & Johnson’s Talc Settlement Scheme Unveiled – We’ve Got a New Hero in Bankruptcy Court

Big pharma's latest scheme is like something out of a bad soap opera: Johnson & Johnson (the good guy) versus thousands of cancer patients who claim […]

Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

Bitcoin

Trump to Save America From Financial Doom With Magical Bitcoin Solution Because Who Needs Facts When You Have a Genius Like Him at the Helm

You'd think Trump would know better than to suggest using a currency with no inherent value as a solution for paying off debt. The guy's got […]

Kevin Nelson August 16, 2024

An illustration of a rollercoaster with steep drops and sharp turns, its cars derailed from tracks in various places; nearby buildings are damaged or destroyed by debris; people running away screaming as others lie injured on the ground. In the background, dark stormy clouds loom over an autumnal landscape where trees have lost their leaves. A faint image of a calendar page showing September can be seen at top left corner with red X's marked through several days indicating missed deadlines or failed predictions;

Crypto News

Summer Market Rollercoaster Still Not Over Because Who Needs Stability Anyway

The stock market can be a thrilling rollercoaster, but investors are bracing for more turbulence ahead - and we're not talking about just any ordinary ups […]

Kevin Nelson August 15, 2024

Crypto News

Web 3 Gaming Revolution – Because What Gamers Really Need Is More Overpriced NFT Bullshit

Well, well. The future of Web 3 gaming is here – or at least that's what these crypto bros want you to think! They're peddling their […]

Doug Martinez August 15, 2024

Bitcoin

Cynthia Lummis Has Brilliant Idea to Save America With Bitcoin – Let’s All Hold Our Breath Until She Realizes It Was a Bad One

You gotta love it when politicians try to sound smart about cryptocurrency without actually understanding what they're talking about. Cynthia Lummis is at it again, introducing […]

Linda Williams August 15, 2024

An illustration of an investor sitting at their desk with stacks of worthless papers labeled "Ethereum" next to them, looking out the window as they watch money flying away from their basement apartment through broken windows and torn curtains. The room is cluttered with old furniture and trash while a faint image of a parent's voice can be heard in the background saying something about how things will get better someday. In the corner, an empty pizza box has "I'm sorry" scribbled on it. A small cat sits next to the investor looking worried as they stare at their worthless papers with despair.

Crypto News

US Investors Flee to Their Parents’ Basements After Realizing They’ve Invested in Something Called “Ethereum

The sweet taste of schadenfreude! It seems like some poor souls have finally realized that investing in Ethereum was not as bright an idea as they […]

Kevin Nelson August 15, 2024

Crypto News

Switzerland’s Last Hope for Sanity Erupts Into Existential Crisis Over Stablecoin Menace

FINMA finally gets on board and warns about stablecoins! Better late than never, I suppose. These things are ticking time bombs for financial stability worldwide, but […]

Linda Williams August 15, 2024

An illustration featuring a person yawning while sitting in front of their computer screen displaying an endless list of Ethereum Name Service subnames and wallet addresses; nearby is another monitor showing a graph that appears to be flatlining, representing uneventful data. The room around them is dimly lit with shadows cast on the walls as if time has stood still since they last looked away from the screens. A faint glow emanates from their computer equipment in an otherwise darkened space;

Altcoins

Bitwise Unveils Utterly Underwhelming Revelation That Somehow Still Manages to Bore Us All Into Oblivion

It looks like Bitwise is trying to convince us that transparency in cryptocurrency is a unique feature - newsflash: it's just an attempt at damage control […]

Linda Williams August 15, 2024

An illustration: A wizard stands in front of an imposing castle with gates wide open; he holds up his hands to shield himself from falling debris. The walls are cracked but still standing, while rubble lies scattered at their base. In one corner a large stone is inscribed 'SEC' and another has the words 'Consensys'. On top of the wall stands a figure holding an axe with sparks flying off it; in its other hand there's a scroll unrolling as if being pulled by some unseen force, revealing lines that resemble code or runes.

Crypto News

Consensys Demands Court Declares Software Interfaces Are Magical and Beyond the Grasp of Mere Mortal Regulators

The crypto bros are at it again! This time Consensys is challenging the SEC in court because they think their precious Metamask software interface shouldn't be […]

Doug Martinez August 15, 2024

Crypto News

Dapper Labs Wins Lawsuit Because of Course They Did You Were Always Going to Lose That Bet on NFTs

Ha! You won't believe it. Dapper Labs has managed to secure a favorable settlement in their lawsuit with Friel vs. Dapper Labs. This means that NBA […]

Doug Martinez August 15, 2024

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