The Most SHOCKING Takedown of Blockchain Bungling You’ll Ever Read! (Spoiler Alert: It’s Not Good)
The Block Explorer Blues: A Descent into Crypto Chaos.
News
BREAKING: California Court Deals Crushing Blow to Crypto Enthusiasts Everywhere – $1k Daily Withdrawal Limit Upheld, Dreams of Instant Riches Shattered Forever!
Well it looks like those crypto kiosk operators are finally getting their comeuppance! A California court has upheld the $1,000 daily withdrawal limit for cryptocurrency ATMs […]
BOMBSHELL: Elon Musk’s Gov Meme Frenzy Sparks Nationwide Panic as Nation Realizes He Still Hasn’t Figured Out How to Run a Company (But Wants to Be President?)!
Elon Musk thinks he can meme his way into a government job? How quaint. The billionaire tech mogul, who's somehow still managing to juggle multiple careers […]
You Won’t Believe What Happened When You Invested Your Life Savings Into a Shady Crypto Project That Was Supposedly Building a Casino
Mpeppe investors claim their coins have been stolen by scammers who are running off with millions in deposits while pretending to build a casino and NFTs. […]
Nigeria’s Bold New Plan to Regulate Crypto: Two Approved Exchanges and a Half-Hearted Warning Against All Others Because Who Needs Rules Anyway?
Nigeria's latest attempt at regulating cryptocurrency is a laughable exercise in futility, much like trying to herd cats with rubber chickens. The Nigerian Securities and Exchange […]
TON Coins Plummet Into Abyss as Durov’s Arrest Spells Doom and Network Collapses in Glorious Chaos
The Open Network (TON) ecosystem is imploding like the crypto bros' dreams of getting rich quick - it's a beautiful sight! Pavel Durov, Telegram founder, got […]
Bitcoin Collateralized Loans Are Coming! Now You Can Borrow Against Your Worthless BTC Holdings and Watch Your Money Problems Multiply!
The eternal optimism of the crypto bros never ceases to amuse me. Here we have Adam Reeds, CEO of Ledn, touting Bitcoin collateralized loans as a […]
Vitalik Buterin’s Epic U-Turn: From Crypto Kingpin to Benevolent Philanthropist, Because Getting Rich Off Your Own Success Is So Last Season
The eternal dance of crypto bros trying to virtue signal their way out of getting called a scammer, Vitalik Buterin edition. So the Ethereum co-founder is […]
$2 BILLION REACHED IN TOKENIZED TREASURY BONDS: Because Who Needs Actual Financial Literacy When You Can Just Throw Money at a Wildly Unproven Concept?
The tokenized Treasury bond bubble continues to inflate like a poorly secured Bitcoin ATM at a crypto conference for gullible idiots. Blackrock and Franklin Templeton's funds […]
You Won’t Believe the Jaw-Dropping Prices of These 10 Cryptocurrencies – We’ve Got All the Mind-Blowing Charts!
Price analysis? More like a laundry list of pointless numbers and charts for crypto bros to drool over!.
BREAKING: Chrome Hacked by Evil Geniuses From Nation Known for Advanced Cybersecurity Measures (Hint: It’s Not Russia)
It's not all about crypto bros and their get-rich-quick schemes today folks... or is it? I mean, who needs a zero-day vulnerability in Chrome when you've […]
Blockchain Startups Still Raking It In: Investors Willingly Hand Over Millions to Fund More Unproven, Unsustainable Ideas Because Sanity Is Optional
Just another VC Roundup: Blockchain startups are still managing to raise big bucks in August despite fewer deals being closed with venture capitalists. Because what could […]
9 Months Later Peter Singer Still Trying to Sell You on Giving Money Away While Rich People Pat Him on the Back
The philosophy of Effective Altruism has been touted as a way to make giving more efficient and rational, but critics like Alice Crary argue it's just […]
Memecoin Madness Is Real and It’s All Because of These Crypto Wizards Who Are Making Billions Off Your Dumb Luck!
You want a playbook on how to fuel memecoin madness? Gotbit's got one! They're like fairy godmothers of crypto market making, waving their wands and conjuring […]
OpenAI Ditches Its Soul, Announces Plan to Become Even More Elites-Only Club: Report!
Just when you thought OpenAI was all about making AI for the greater good, they're now trying to get in on the crypto bros' action by […]
Get Ready for the Most Ridiculous Tech Frenzy in History! Scientists Stumble Upon ‘Breakthrough’ That Will Make You Forget Your 5G Bills Were Even a Thing (Within Decade, Maybe)
Because what we really need is another way for crypto bros to get rich quick...
Justin Sun: Because Who Needs Actual Leadership When You Can Just Yell at Your Enemies From the Top of a Market Bubble?
Well, it looks like Justin Sun has finally decided to join the ranks of the crypto bros' hall of shame by taunting his token's bears after […]
Crypto Chaos Erupts as Telegram Gets Raided by Accountants in Suits, Opensea Forced to Use Excel
Crypto: where the only thing more abundant than hype is regulatory scrutiny.
Crypto Bros’ Desperate Attempt to Make You Care About Trading Your Worthless Funds at 3am
Crypto Bro's Latest Pipe Dream: Because what we really need is to be able to trade our worthless ETFs at all hours, while the world burns […]
Crypto Hacks Soar to $1.2 Billion in 2024: Because Who Needs Customer Service When You Can Just Steal From Your Customers?
Greetings from the land of crypto chaos! It's your favorite satire writer here to give you a rundown of this week's 'exciting' events in the world […]
Crypto Traders Are Literally Begging You to Sell Your House, Because Apparently That’ll Cover the Cost of Buying Some Altcoins Right Now
The eternal optimism of crypto traders never ceases to amuse me, especially when they're peddling their 'buy signal' nonsense like a bunch of snake oil salesmen. […]
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