Radical Cuts Ahead! ‘DeFi Darling’ Dumps 1 in 7 Employees Like Yesterday’s Trash Because, You Know, Refocusing Is Code for We Ran Out of Money
Radix's latest round of layoffs is just another nail in the coffin of this DeFi dumpster fire.
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Bitcoin’s Epic Collapse Guaranteed in 2024… Just Trust Us!
} The eternal optimist's guide to bitcoin: where we take historical trends that say it will tank, but somehow convince ourselves it'll buck the odds and […]
TeraWulf Launches New Bitcoin Mining Facility Because Clearly We Haven’t Solved Global Energy Crisis Yet, Also Wants to Be Best Friends With Tech Giants (Please)
Just when I thought the crypto market had hit rock bottom (which is probably still true), along comes TeraWulf with its latest attempt to convince us […]
We Can’t Believe You’re Still Here! Daily Active Addresses Hit 1 MILLION as the Thrilling World of Basenames Takes Over Your Life
The Great Basenames Boom: Because What Every Network Needs is More Boring Names.
Telegram Founder Pavel Durov Detained, Because You Know What They Say About Free Speech
Just when you thought it was safe to go back online... Pavel Durov's detention has got everyone buzzing like a crypto bro at a Bitcoin conference […]
Ai Tokens Soaring to New Heights of Irrelevance as They Prepare to Crash and Burn in the Shadow of Nvidia’s Earnings Report
The never-ending circus that is cryptocurrency, where a bunch of made-up tokens surge ahead of some boring old tech company's earnings report because... why not? It […]
Toncoin Soars to New Heights: Because Nothing Says ‘Investment Opportunity’ Like a High-Profile Arrest
Toncoin's latest surge: because what every good scam needs is a bit of drama. Pavel Durov gets arrested on terrorism charges (because that always helps the […]
GET READY FOR THE MOST EPIC $150K FLYBY IN HISTORY: Experts Predict Batshit Season Will Finally Arrive (But Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You)
It's Batshit Season Again! Or is it? The eternal question on the lips of crypto enthusiasts everywhere - will this be the time when their precious […]
Why Perplexity AI Just Unleashed the Most Brilliant Marketing Strategy Ever: ADVERTISING ON CHATBOTS, BECAUSE WHO DOESN’T LOVE a GOOD HEMORRHOID CREAM SPOT DURING CONVERSATION?
...and now they're trying to monetize their fancy chatbots with ads! Because what's a few more dollars per thousand impressions when you can make your users' […]
$2.5 Million Down the Drain: Billionaire Bails Out Another Bitcoin Fad, Proving He Has No Shame (Or a Pulse)
Not another cryptocurrency 'innovation' to line Tim Draper's pockets. Because what we really need is more ways for people to waste their money on imaginary numbers […]
Tether Says No to Blockchain Launch: We’re Too Cool for Our Own Technology
There's nothing quite like watching cryptocurrency companies eat their own lunch. I mean, who needs your own blockchain when you can just use someone else's? Paolo […]
Trump Launches New Crypto Scheme Because Clearly He Has No Other Ideas Left
Well well well, look who's jumping on the cryptocurrency bandwagon - it seems even Donald Trump can't resist the allure of getting rich quick and fleecing […]
Nvidia Earnings Call: Analysts Lose Minds, Predict Company Will Suddenly Turn Into Actual Moon and Merge With Sun to Become $10 Trillion Dollar Ball of Fire Within Five Years!
Analysts are going gaga about Nvidia's upcoming earnings call, predicting record-breaking profits and revenue. Because what could possibly go wrong with a company whose value is […]
AVALANCHE PRICE TO TURN BULLISH ANY SECOND NOW (Seriously Though It Might Just Crash Again)
Crypto bros are at it again! They're trying to convince us that Avalanche (AVAX) is about to turn bullish after months of tanking. Yeah right, and […]
BIG TECH’S NEXT GET RICH QUICK SCHEME IS HERE! Robotics Revolution Will Change Everything (Probably Not)
The next 'big thing' in tech is always just around the corner, or so we're told. Robotics has been touted as the future for years now, […]
YOU WON’T BELIEVE the Shocking Reason Why This AI Company Just Gave Away 10 MILLION DOLLARS to Struggling Startups
Fetch.ai: Because Who Needs Real Value When You Can Have Artificial Intelligence?.
The One ETF to Rule Them All: VanEck Exec Hopes 2018 Fraud Case Will Finally Make Your Solana Investments Worth Something
You know what? This is just more proof that cryptocurrency and blockchain technology are a joke, especially when it comes to these fancy-schmancy ETFs. I mean, […]
FTX Creditors Prove Once and for All That Even When You’ve Lost Everything, a 5% Chance Is Still Better Than No Chance at All
FTX: because who needs to be solvent when you can declare bankruptcy and still get people to vote with their wallets? I mean, it's not like […]
Franklin Templeton Invests Entire Life Savings in Avalanche Network Because Reasons
The crypto bros are at it again! This time they've convinced a major asset management firm like Franklin Templeton that blockchain is somehow revolutionary or innovative […]
VanEcks Never Ending Quest to Make You Lose Money in a Solana ETF Continues Unabated
Just when you thought it was safe to get back into cryptocurrency, VanEck comes along and reminds us all that Solana is still a thing. Because […]
Bitwise Buys Firm Called “ETC” Because Clearly They Want to Confiscate All Your Euros Now
So Bitwise is expanding into Europe, because clearly their business model hinges on them being able to scam gullible Europeans out of billions just like they're […]
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