Coinbase’s Existential Crisis: SEC Refuses to Give Them Permission to Not Get Shut Down Yet
The world is still waiting with bated breath as Coinbase continues to beg the SEC for rules that don't exist yet because they're too scared of […]
The world is still waiting with bated breath as Coinbase continues to beg the SEC for rules that don't exist yet because they're too scared of […]
Let's talk about something truly absurd - people actually believing a cryptocurrency can reach $5,000 because of some fancy-pants financial product. I mean seriously, we're not […]
You know who's been laughing all along at these crypto bros? Me, that’s who! It seems like every other day another one of them gets taken […]
The gullible idiots are rejoicing once again as their precious cryptocurrency is back on the Google Play Store and Apple App Store. Binance has finally registered […]
The eternal optimism of crypto bros never ceases to amuse me! They think that somehow, someway, their precious Solana ETF will magically get approved by mid-March […]
The grand finale for crypto exploiters seems to be near - or at least that's what they're hoping as their offchain attack vectors are getting more […]
It seems like we're getting close to being able to trade crypto with our hard-earned money without having to resort to shady derivatives. Whoop-de-doo! I mean, […]
In a desperate attempt to stay relevant, Google Pay, Amazon Pay and Phonepe are now scrambling to join India's central bank-issued cryptocurrency (CBDC) program. Because what […]
The endless saga of Uniswap trying to outsmart regulators continues! Like a bad penny, this decentralized finance (defi) darling keeps turning up with its claims about […]
The crypto bros are at it again! They're celebrating their precious Bitcoin ETFs making gains for the ninth day in a row because apparently that's something […]
Another day, another crypto exchange bites the dust (or rather, gets its users' funds embezzled). ezBtc and founder David Smillie are just the latest additions to […]
The Grayscale Ethereum Trust is finally bleeding less money after hemorrhaging nearly $2.3 billion since launch. I'm sure it's just a coincidence that this comes as […]
Because what's better for investors than a whole bunch of new ways to throw money at worthless digital tokens? Grayscale is thrilled that people are still […]
The never-ending saga of cryptocurrency's attempt to be taken seriously continues! It seems like every week is Groundhog Day for Bitcoin and its altcoin friends - […]
The crypto bros are at it again! Flocking to ETH like a bunch of lemmings off a cliff because some new ETFs launched in late July […]
The thrilling tale of a crypto "whale" dumping its precious Ether on an unsuspecting market! Because what's more fun than watching someone with millions in assets […]
I'm sure this is going to end well - another country getting suckered into regulating an industry built on nothing but hot air. The Central Bank […]
The thrilling tale of whales buying Ether and somehow expecting us all to care. Because what's more riveting than a massive amount of money being spent […]
The never-ending farce of cryptocurrency investing continues! It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion - you can't look away even though you know the […]
More like "DOJ Launches Whistleblower Awards Program for Gullible Idiots Who Invested in Crypto". Because let's face it, if you're stupid enough to invest in cryptocurrency […]
The cryptocurrency world is a dumpster fire and it's only getting worse! It seems like every day we get to see another ETF fail miserably or […]