$130,000 Vanishes Into Thin Air: BaseBros Fi’s Epic DeFi Heist Exposed!
Another day, another BaseBros Fi - that's what I like to call it when some anonymous genius decides to pull off a rug-pull on their unsuspecting […]
DeFi
TON-Based Restaking Protocol Secures $100M Institutional Commitment: Because What the World Really Needed Was Another Way to Lose Your Shirt
With great fanfare and no doubt copious amounts of institutional hot air, Utonic's restaking protocol has secured a whopping $100M in commitments from firms like Mirana […]
$18 BILLION BOOM: Retail Investors Flocking to Solana Liquid Staking Like Moths to a Flame, Because Who Needs Sanity When You Can Have Cryptocurrency?
Folks, let's get this over with - another bunch of hot air about cryptocurrency 'growth' that will inevitably end in tears for the poor saps who […]
Buckle Up, Buttercup! Regulators Finally Notice the Train Wreck That Is Uniswap and Decide to Get on Board!
Crypto: Because Nothing Says 'Financial Stability' Like a Wild West Free-for-All.
You Won’t Believe the Utterly Revolutionary Breakthrough That Will Change Starknet Forever: VOTING ON a BLOCKCHAIN THAT STILL WRECKS THE PLANET WILL NOW BE FREE
Starknet's latest attempt to make cryptocurrency sound slightly less terrible: gasless voting on a blockchain that still sucks up as much energy as a small power […]
$12 MILLION DOWN THE DRAIN: Meet the MEV Bot That Proved Luck Is Actually Just a Myth
MEV Bot: Where Luck Goes To Die A $12 million flash loan taken out by an MEV bot only yielded a paltry $20 in profit. Because […]
When Web3 Finally Unites… Under One Catastrophic AggLayer That Will Probably Destroy Us All – Polygon Labs CEO’s Genius Plan Revealed!
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in Web3 land... Along comes Polygon Labs with their grand vision of unifying all blockchains under […]
The Most Earth-Shattering Development in Crypto History: Another Blockchain Is Coming and It’s Going to Change Everything (Possibly)
A New Synthetix App Chain? Who Cares?.
Vitalik’s Genius Investments: Donating Crypto Yields Better Returns Than Actual Investing (Because Who Needs Financial Literacy Anyway?)
Just when you thought Vitalik Buterin was a genius for creating Ethereum (spoiler: he's not), comes the revelation that his charitable efforts yield better returns than […]
BREAKING: FBI Issues Urgent Warning About Crypto – Because Apparently Some People Still Haven’t Figured Out It’s a Giant Scam
The FBI's latest warning about North Korea's cyber attacks targeting crypto and defi is a stark reminder that only criminals use this stuff for real. I […]
GET READY FOR THE MOST AMAZING, LIFE-CHANGING FINANCIAL CRASH OF OUR LIFETIME! Bitcoin DeFi TVL to SOAR PAST Ethereum’s in a MIND-BLOWING 2 YEARS!
The eternal optimist - always predicting that things will get better and more people will fall for this scam.
Vitalik Buterin’s Epic U-Turn: From Crypto Kingpin to Benevolent Philanthropist, Because Getting Rich Off Your Own Success Is So Last Season
The eternal dance of crypto bros trying to virtue signal their way out of getting called a scammer, Vitalik Buterin edition. So the Ethereum co-founder is […]
Blockchain Startups Still Raking It In: Investors Willingly Hand Over Millions to Fund More Unproven, Unsustainable Ideas Because Sanity Is Optional
Just another VC Roundup: Blockchain startups are still managing to raise big bucks in August despite fewer deals being closed with venture capitalists. Because what could […]
WARNING: We’re on the Brink of a 100 Layer-2 Blockchain Apocalypse and Nobody Knows What Any of Them Do!
Solutions without problems: The L2 explosion that's not solving anything - It seems like every other day we hear about another layer-2 (L2) blockchain being launched, […]
BREAKING: Maker DeFi Lending Protocol Renames Itself Sky Because ‘Maker’ Was Apparently a Total Buzzkill for Crypto Bros Everywhere… AND THEY’RE LAUNCHING a NEW STABLECOIN BECAUSE WHY NOT?!?
The never-ending farce that is cryptocurrency continues to entertain and confound us all. The latest installment of this saga features Maker DeFi lending protocol rebranding itself […]
You Won’t Believe the Shocking New Episode of Hashing It Out: A Podcast So Densely Packed With Web3 Jargon You’ll Need Oxygen Tanks to Listen!
The never-ending saga of blockchain technology and its attempt to justify itself as a viable industry continues. In this latest episode of Hashing It Out, we're […]
Aptos Network Joins Forces With Nillion to Create an Unmitigated Disaster of a Blockchain Ecosystem
} The latest from Aptos - because what's more exciting than some obscure blockchain network integrating with another equally unknown tech platform? We've got blind computation […]
$8 Billion Dollar Ponzi Scheme Now Accepting Payments on Even More Blockchains!
Tokenized Treasuries: Because Who Needs Real Money When You Can Have Fake Crypto?.
Vitalik Buterin Finally Speaks Out on the Epic Fail That Is Ethereum, Admits He Forgot to Bother With DeFi
Vitalik Buterin's DeFi Drama Unfolds - Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong with a Crypto Ecosystem?.
BREAKING: Team of Self-Proclaimed ‘SEAL’ Operatives Saves World From Crypto Hacks, Still Can’t Stop Losing Money
The eternal dance between crypto thieves and their wannabe white hat rescuers continues. A team of self-proclaimed 'SEAL' operatives, armed with nothing but a penchant for […]
Some Genius at Rumpel Labs Decides Tokenization Was Missing One Crucial Element: AIRDROP POINTS AND NOW WE’RE ALL DOOMED
The latest harebrained scheme from the cryptocurrency crowd: tokenizing airdrop points because apparently that's what we've been missing in our lives - more ways for scammers […]
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