Wake Up, Sheeple! Trump’s New Crypto Platform Is Coming… And It’ll Probably All Go Terribly Wrong on September 16
The Emperor's New Clothes: Donald Trump Launches Crypto Platform Because Who Needs Regulation Anyway?.
Crypto News
Bitcoin Investors: Because Who Needs Savings Accounts When You Can Watch Your Money Get Eaten by a Magic Computer Program?
The never-ending saga of cryptocurrency investors throwing their money at a product with no inherent value continues to captivate us all. It's like watching a train […]
BREAKING: SEC Finally Realizes They’re Not the Only Ones Who Can Be Mean and Now All Cryptos Are Crying
SAB-121 Softening? More like Crypto Industry Whining.
The SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT STABLECOINS WILL LEAVE YOU SPEECHLESS! (Spoiler Alert: They’re Actually Used for Stuff)
The Stablecoin Scam: Because Who Needs Real Money Anyway?.
Starknet’s Thrilling 100% Approval Rate for Minting Curve Has Us on the Edge of Our Seats (Spoiler Alert: It Wasn’t Even Close)
The Great Starknet Staking Vote: Because Who Needs a Real Economy When You Have Numbers?.
Crypto ATM Operators Finally Get Slapped Down by Lawmakers: About Time Someone Warned Grandma Not to Send Her Life Savings Up in Flames
US lawmakers are finally catching on - cryptocurrency is a scam! Or at least the crypto ATMs that fleece elderly Americans for millions of dollars. I […]
BREAKING: French Hill Spouts Utter Nonsense About Defi, Probably Gets Paid by Crypto Bro to Do So – MUST SEE FOR ALL YOU NON-CRYPTO GULLIBLE IDIOTS OUT THERE!
} It seems we have another crypto apologist trying to spin a positive narrative about the wonders of decentralized finance (defi). French Hill, chairman of the […]
TRUMP GETS RIPPED OFF: Billionaire Businessman Falls for Latest Crypto Scam, Because of Course He Does
You'd think Donald Trump would know better than to fall for the crypto scam du jour. But nope, not even The King of Scams can resist […]
Buckle Up Buttercup! Expert Predicts You Will Lose All Your Money on the Next Big Market Boom… Said No One Ever!
The Great Cryptocurrency Concoction.
Why Russia Is Totally Not Going to Screw Up Their Digital Ruble Launch by July 2025 (Spoiler: They Probably Will)
Because what we really needed was a digital version of our money that's just as susceptible to hacking and inflation as regular cash. I mean, who […]
CHINA’S DIGITAL YUAN IS a $1 TRILLION MIRACLE: Because Who Needs Actual Economy When You Can Just Print Numbers on the Internet?
With great fanfare comes even greater delusion - at least that's what China thinks as it proudly proclaims its digital yuan initiative a massive success with […]
BREAKING: Desperate Stablecoin Loser Adds New ‘Feature’ in Last-Ditch Attempt to Scare Up Some Interest!
The never-ending saga of Circle's attempts to prop up its dying stablecoin, USDC. Because what every blockchain ecosystem really needs is a token backed by nothing […]
Birds, Beaks, and Bitcoin Schemes: Welcome to the Soul-Crushing Rebirth of a Game You Forgot Existed!
The Flappy Bird Foundation: Where nostalgia meets crypto greed.
Crypto Freeze Frenzy: Indian Court Finally Decrees That Police Need to Get Their Act Together and Not Just Wreck People’s Finances at Random
Just when you thought cryptocurrency couldn't get any more ridiculous, we have a court in India ruling on how to freeze bank accounts related to crypto […]
Crypto Market on Verge of Collapse as Politicians Prove Irrelevant, Again
The Crypto Industry's Existential Crisis: A Scramble for Relevance in the Face of Uncertainty.
Hedera Throws Entire Codebase at Linux Foundation in Desperate Cry for Help: ‘We’re Still Relevant, Right?
Don't get too excited about Hedera's 'generous' contribution of its codebase to the Linux Foundation - it's just a desperate attempt by this cryptocurrency also-ran to […]
The World’s Most Desperate Economies Are Still Trying to Get Rich Quick on Cryptocurrency
The Great Crypto Frenzy Continues: India, Nigeria, Indonesia Lead Chainalysis 2024 Index.
BREAKING: Cryptocurrency Giant Succumbs to Aussie Bureaucracy, Abandons All Hope and Freedom – NOW ONLY AVAILABLE WITH EXTRA PAPERWORK!
The Crypto Circus Continues: Kraken Adjusts Margin Product Amid Australian Regulatory Frenzy.
Ethereum’s Wild Ride Comes to a Sudden Stop (Spoiler Alert: It Was Always Going to Be This Way)
Just when you thought cryptocurrency couldn't get any more exciting - or boring, depending on your perspective,.
Microstrategy’s Bitcoin Obsession Reaches New Heights as They Dump Entire Salary Budget on 18,300 More Coins Because That’s Just What You Do When You’re Trying to Lose Everything
The eternal quest for a get-rich-quick scheme: Microstrategy Buys More Bitcoins Because Why Not?.
BREAKING: You Won’t Believe the Shocking Reason Why That One Guy on Twitter Said BNB Will Hit $1,000 by Tomorrow (Hint: It Involves a Lot of Hope)
The Great Binance Heist: How a Token's Price Can Be Manipulated with Launchpads and Wishful Thinking.
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