Crypto Investors: Still Paying to Learn How Not to Lose Your Money (SVG Files Edition)
You know what they say: 'if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.' And in crypto land, where scams are as common as […]
Crypto News
Crypto Scammers Get Served: Vietnam Takes Down Billion-Dong Bonanza in Most Epic Bust Ever!
Just when you thought the crypto scene couldn't get any more ridiculous, Vietnam comes along and dismantles another cross-border fraud ring that's been using fake cryptocurrencies […]
YOU WON’T BELIEVE THE WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM’S DEFI PLAN: It Involves Locking You Inside a Sandbox With Your Digital Assets and Watching as the House Wins
The World Economic Forum has decided that DeFi is so hot right now it needs special treatment - aka sandboxing. Because what's more fun than playing […]
You Won’t Believe What Happens When Bitcoin Hits $62k – APT and WIF Soar to New Heights (But Not Really)
The crypto bros are at it again, spewing their nonsense about Bitcoin's supposed rise and altcoin recoveries. Meanwhile, we're still waiting for someone to explain why […]
Swift to Unleash Apocalypse on Global Economy by Merging Traditional Finance With Blockchain in 2025
Just when you thought the world was finally free from the scourge of cryptocurrency, along comes Swift, the venerable institution that has been keeping international transactions […]
Buckle Up Buttercup! Experts Stumped Again as Cryptocurrency Prices Do the Cha Cha Slide
Just another day in crypto-land where prices bounce around like they're attached to pogo sticks and experts are as useful as trying to predict which way […]
IMF Tells El Salvador to Stop Being a Bitcoin Enthusiast and Act Like an Adult for Once
The IMF is still trying to tell El Salvador that adopting Bitcoin as legal tender was a bad idea, but it seems like they're speaking into […]
Get Ready for the Most Epic Partnership of All Time: DMCC and CVVC Join Forces to Save Us From a World Without Web3
The never-ending circus of cryptocurrency partnerships continues! It seems like every week there's another press release announcing some new collaboration between two or more blockchain enthusiasts. […]
BREAKING: Cryptocurrency Industry Finally Discovers Most Obvious Place to Put Office – Middle East!
The never-ending saga of crypto bros trying to make their dubious endeavors look legitimate continues! Cointelegraph has established an office in Dubai's DMCC Crypto Centre because […]
When Will They Stop: Bitwise Unveils Latest ETF Scheme to Make You Rich With Math Wizardry
The never-ending circus of crypto ETFs continues! Bitwise is at it again, trying to peddle its latest creation - a momentum-based fund that will supposedly make […]
Because You Clearly Needed More Lag and Crashes in Your Life
Ethereum's latest proposal, EIP-7781, promises to increase throughput by 50% - because what the world really needed was more of this worthless garbage clogging up our […]
FBI Discovers Shocking Truth: Crypto Schemes Are Actually Scams and People Lose Money!
Because you need someone from a government agency to tell you that cryptocurrency scams are bad. I mean, come on folks! It's not exactly rocket science […]
$57 BILLION DOLLAR LIE EXPOSED! The TRON Scam That’ll Leave Your Wallet Crying (Literally)
Tron's Trillion-Dollar Ponzi Scheme: Because Who Needs Value When You Have Memecoin Frenzy?.
YOU WON’T BELIEVE THE OUTRAGEOUS NEW INTERNET REGULATION That Will Make You Question Everything About Online Freedom Forever
Yeah, because nothing says 'freedom' like being forced to show your passport to use the internet.
BREAKING: Crypto ETFs Imploding Like Your Uncle’s Ponzi Scheme, Losing $57 MILLION IN ONE DAY Because Who Needs Actual Returns When You Can Just Print More Money?
The cryptocurrency faithful are at it again! Spot ETH and BTC ETFs have been hit with withdrawals, losing a whopping $54.13 million and $3.2 million respectively. […]
SEC About to Get Smoked for a SECOND TIME! Lawyer Prepares to Deliver Crushing Blow as Appeal Deadline Looms
You know who's about to get their butt kicked? The SEC! Again. They're still whining and crying because they didn't manage to screw over some poor […]
You Won’t Believe the Shocking Truth About Meme Coins: They’re All Secretly Designed to Drain Your Wallet!
You've got to hand it to Mark Cuban - he's not afraid to call a spade a shovel when it comes to meme coins and their […]
BREAKING: Bitcoin Investors Show Stunning Gullibility, Glassnode Calls It ‘Confidence’!
The eternal optimists of cryptocurrency are at it again! New investors showing confidence? Please, they're just drinking the Kool-Aid and waiting for their get-rich-quick scheme to […]
ETH PLUMMETS 10% IN 3 DAYS: ICO Whale Sells Out Entire Family Trust and Cries to Mom
It's time to call shenanigans on Ethereum again! It seems like an ICO whale has decided it's had enough of this overhyped nonsense and is offloading […]
Ethereum Traders Predict Apocalypse, Bet Big Money Will Get Lost Amidst Sudden Onset of Reasoned Behavior
The Cryptocurrency Circus Continues: Traders Betting on Chaos Ahead of US Election.
BINANCE ON BRINK OF TOTAL COLLAPSE: Trading Volumes Plummet, Market Share Crashes Back to 2020 Levels – Is This the End of Crypto’s Favorite Son?!
There's nothing quite like watching crypto bros scramble when their precious Binance starts hemorrhaging trading volume. It seems that September was a particularly brutal month for […]
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