Altcoins Archives - Page 6 of 10

A whale breaches the surface, its massive body a blur as it rises from the depths below. In the distance, smaller fish dart and weave around each other in frantic pursuit of their own survival.

You Won’t Believe the Jaw-Dropping Prices of These 10 Cryptocurrencies – We’ve Got All the Mind-Blowing Charts!

Price analysis? More like a laundry list of pointless numbers and charts for crypto bros to drool over!.

Sam Rogers September 1, 2024

A comic illustration of a person holding a 'For Sale' sign in front of their house, with a suitcase full of altcoins and a chart showing an upward trend in the background.

Crypto Traders Are Literally Begging You to Sell Your House, Because Apparently That’ll Cover the Cost of Buying Some Altcoins Right Now

The eternal optimism of crypto traders never ceases to amuse me, especially when they're peddling their 'buy signal' nonsense like a bunch of snake oil salesmen. […]

Kevin Nelson August 30, 2024

A cartoonish illustration depicting a bitcoin character standing at the edge of a cliff, with September looming large behind it. The character is looking down nervously as August slips away beneath its feet. In the background, various ominous clouds and stormy weather hint at potential turmoil ahead.

Altcoins

Bitcoin’s Epic Collapse Guaranteed in 2024… Just Trust Us!

} The eternal optimist's guide to bitcoin: where we take historical trends that say it will tank, but somehow convince ourselves it'll buck the odds and […]

Kevin Nelson August 30, 2024

Altcoins

Ai Tokens Soaring to New Heights of Irrelevance as They Prepare to Crash and Burn in the Shadow of Nvidia’s Earnings Report

The never-ending circus that is cryptocurrency, where a bunch of made-up tokens surge ahead of some boring old tech company's earnings report because... why not? It […]

Sam Rogers August 27, 2024

A chaotic underwater scene with Cthulhu emerging from the depths, surrounded by tentacles and seaweed. In the background, a cryptic ancient temple looms in ruins.

Altcoins

You Won’t Believe These 9 Crypto Projects Are Actually Real (Spoiler Alert: They’re Not)

The Cryptocurrency Circus: A Never-Ending Parade of Absurdity.

Kevin Nelson August 27, 2024

A stylized illustration featuring Solana (SOL) as a surfer riding an upward wave on a calm sea. The sun shines brightly in the background with rays extending towards SOL's rising price chart forming above it. A symmetrical triangle pattern is depicted below the surface, symbolizing market consolidation and anticipation of interest rate cuts.

Altcoins

BREAKING: SOL Price Jumps 1000% Overnight, Still Has No Idea What It’s Doing

The Solana Saga: A Wild Ride to Nowhere (Again).

Kevin Nelson August 25, 2024

A comic illustration depicting various cryptocurrency companies merging into each other like puzzle pieces, while a giant dollar sign looms in the background, surrounded by smaller icons of computers, servers, and energy sources.

Altcoins

Crypto Firms Are Merging Left and Right, but Is Anyone Actually Getting a Good Deal?

The Great Consolidation Con: Where's the Beef?.

Doug Martinez August 25, 2024

Altcoins

Ripple, Kraken Executives Suddenly Realize They’re Not Above the Law After All (SHOCKER)

Well, it looks like Ripple and Kraken are still trying to convince us that their precious crypto assets aren't securities after all. Because what could possibly […]

Linda Williams August 25, 2024

A comic illustration featuring a bitcoin piggy bank overflowing with coins as it stands triumphantly over an empty ether piggy bank, surrounded by charts and graphs rising upwards.

Altcoins

BITCOIN: THE ULTIMATE GET RICH QUICK SCHEME IS BACK! $252 MILLION POURS IN AS ETHER ETFs CONTINUE TO BURN MONEY LIKE IT’S GOING OUT OF STYLE!

The never-ending circus that is crypto continues! It's not like we haven't seen this before - Bitcoin ETFs soaring with millions pouring in while ether ETFs […]

Sam Rogers August 25, 2024

A comic-style illustration of a snowball rolling down a mountain, gaining speed as it goes. The background is dark and ominous with flashes of light representing potential crashes. However, the main focus is on the snowball picking up momentum, symbolizing AVAX's price surge. In the foreground, there are subtle hints at positive news such as calendar dates and tokens unlocking in 2024.

Altcoins

AVALANCHE PRICE TO TURN BULLISH ANY SECOND NOW (Seriously Though It Might Just Crash Again)

Crypto bros are at it again! They're trying to convince us that Avalanche (AVAX) is about to turn bullish after months of tanking. Yeah right, and […]

Linda Williams August 25, 2024

A cartoon kraken is shown with its tentacles wrapped around several cryptocurrency logos (ADA, ALGO, ATOM, FIL, FLOW, ICP, MANA, MATIC, NEAR, OMG, SOL) as a judge's gavel comes crashing down in the background. The scene suggests that Kraken has been 'pwnd' by the SEC and is being held accountable for its actions.

Altcoins

BREAKING: KRACKEN JUST GOT PWND BY THE MAN – Supreme Court Ruling DOOMS Cryptocurrency Forever

One of these things is going to be a security... eventually.

Doug Martinez August 25, 2024

Altcoins

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back in the Water: Another JPMorgan Report Confirms Your Grandma’s Investment Strategy Is Still Better Than Bitcoin Mining!

The never-ending saga of Bitcoin's existential crisis continues to unfold like a bad soap opera. It seems that even the most die-hard fans can't escape the […]

Sam Rogers August 25, 2024

An illustration of a ghostly figure standing alone in an empty landscape with its back turned to the viewer while looking up towards the sky where it sees two other figures (one large, one small) walking away from each other but still together and visible on the horizon; below them is a faint outline of three different paths. The ground beneath the lone ghostly figure has cracks in it as if something had been broken or abandoned there for some time while nearby are scattered remnants of what could be seen as once vibrant flowers now wilted, faded and dying.

Altcoins

Cardano Abandoned by God: Left to Rot Alone While Tron Continues Its Meteoric Rise to World Domination

Cardano (ADA), once a darling among crypto enthusiasts, has lost its spot in the top 10 cryptocurrencies by market capitalization - what a shocker! It's not […]

Kevin Nelson August 20, 2024

Altcoins

Linea’s Existential Crisis Averted by One Overwhelmed Volunteer Who Just Wants to Get Out of Doing All the Work

The crypto world is at it again, folks. Linea just got its first contributor for an open-source L2 rollup project because apparently someone finally remembered that […]

Linda Williams August 20, 2024

An illustration of an empty black hole with swirling clouds of grey gas at its center. A faint outline of the Earth can be seen in the distance, but it is small and insignificant compared to the vastness of space around it. The background is dark blue, representing the void of outer space. In the foreground, a few scattered stars twinkle like diamonds against the blackness. At the edge of the illustration, a faint line suggests the presence of other galaxies in the distance, but they are too far away to be seen clearly.

Altcoins

Ethereum DApp Volumes Implode Into Black Hole of Irrelevance – Is Everyone Still Holding Onto Their ETH?

The world of crypto is one big rollercoaster ride full of ups and downs. And when I say down, I mean it literally - because who […]

Doug Martinez August 20, 2024

Altcoins

Tether Mints Another Billion Dollars, Because Who Needs Economic Responsibility When You Can Just Magically Create More Money on the Internet and Call It Stable?

August has been quite a month for Tether's minting machine - it seems like every week they're churning out another billion USDT tokens on some obscure […]

Doug Martinez August 20, 2024

An illustration: A judge sits at a desk with papers scattered around them; they hold up their hand to halt the flow of money pouring from one side of the room (labelled 'Employer') towards another (labelled 'Employee'); in the background, coins and banknotes are replaced by cryptocurrency symbols floating upwards. The scene is set against a cityscape at sunset with skyscrapers representing Dubai's skyline; people walk through streets below as they go about their daily business while looking up to see what’s happening above them.

Altcoins

Dubai Court Suddenly Realizes Crypto Isn’t Actually Made of Unicorn Tears and Decides It Can Be Used for Normal Things Like Paying People

It's about time Dubai caught up with the rest of us who think cryptocurrency is a scam! Who needs to be paid in crypto when it’s […]

Doug Martinez August 20, 2024

Altcoins

Bitcoin’s Range-Bound Price Action Is Clearly the Result of an All-Powerful Alt-Emperor Ruling Over a Kingdom of Uncoordinated Cryptocurrencies

The cryptocurrency market is still in shambles after its recent collapse. Bitcoin (BTC) has been stuck in a range-bound price action for weeks, and altcoins like […]

Sam Rogers August 20, 2024

Altcoins

Binance: The Crypto Savior China Can’t Live Without, Literally

It seems like Binance is a real lifeboat for Chinese crypto enthusiasts! With over 96% of them using the exchange and almost two-thirds keeping their main […]

Doug Martinez August 20, 2024

Altcoins

COO’s Twitter Account Hacked Because Clearly That Was the Only Logical Next Step After Being Promoted to COO of a Cryptocurrency Company

The incompetence never ceases to amaze me! It's like these folks are begging to be robbed blind by hackers and scammers. A COO getting their account […]

Linda Williams August 19, 2024

An illustration of a rollercoaster track rising sharply upwards with cryptocurrency symbols (Bitcoin, Ethereum) embedded in the tracks as they twist and turn; at the top, a giant bubble forms around them, bursting into flames that engulf surrounding mountains shaped like dollar signs and interest rate charts; below, memecoins are depicted as tiny dogs chasing each other through fields of green dollars

Altcoins

Get Ready for Another Insane Crypto Bubble Because Apparently Low Interest Rates Will Make Everyone Suddenly Care About Decentralized Finance Again

The eternal optimism of crypto bros never ceases to amuse me! Lower interest rates could be the key to DeFi summer? Please, it's just a recipe […]

Doug Martinez August 19, 2024

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