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Cantor Fitzgerald Launches New Venture: We’re All Gonna Die in a Cryptocurrency Fireball of Our Own Making

BitcoinCrypto NewsRegulation/Negotiation 1 Barry Thompson August 16, 2024

An illustration of an old skyscraper engulfed by flames with smoke billowing out and a massive explosion at its base; Bitcoin symbols are scattered across the building's facade as it crumbles to pieces amidst chaos on the streets below where people run for their lives while others look up in horror, all set against a darkening sky. In the foreground, two figures representing traditional finance institutions stand frozen with fear, one holding an umbrella and looking away from the inferno; they are dwarfed by the towering flames that seem to be consuming everything around them.

The age-old question: how low can you go? It seems like every week there’s a new entrant into this ridiculous space trying to make it sound legit by associating with “traditional finance.” Newsflash: just because Cantor Fitzgerald has billions under management doesn’t mean they’re not also going down in flames. They’ve decided, for whatever reason (likely the same as everyone else – getting rich quick), that providing leverage to Bitcoin investors is a good idea. Because what could possibly go wrong with giving people more money to throw into this casino

Source: bitcoin.com

Cantor Fitzgerald Announces New Venture to Provide Leverage to Bitcoin Investors
https://news.bitcoin.com/cantor-fitzgerald-announces-new-venture-to-provide-leverage-to-bitcoin-investors
Cantor Fitzgerald, a billionaire asset management fund, recently announced its plans to provide leveraging services for Bitcoin investors. This venture will operate as a separate entity, commencing its operations with a capital of $2 billion. The capital will be replenished in tranches of $2 billion to cater to the needs of Bitcoin holders. This information was shared by Howard Lutnick, the Chairman of Cantor Fitzgerald. Bitcoin is getting deeper and […]

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About the author

Barry Thompson

Barry’s crypto nightmare began when he bought Bitcoin at $3, thinking he’d stumbled upon the financial opportunity of a lifetime. He sold his stash at $100, only to watch in dismay as Bitcoin soared to absurd heights. Now, Barry channels his rage into scathing articles about the crypto circus, seething with resentment at the digital gold rush he barely missed. His motto: “I sold out at $100, but the joke’s on me because the real joke was believing in this absurd circus.”

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Disclaimer

The content presented on this site is intended solely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as factual or reliable information. This site employs satire and humor to discuss global news, current events, finance, and cryptocurrency. The views expressed here are not meant to be taken seriously and do not represent the opinions of any individuals, organizations, or entities discussed.

Please be aware that the content may be exaggerated, fictionalized, or otherwise altered to create a comedic effect. It is not intended to provide financial advice, make accurate predictions, or offer any serious commentary on current events or financial markets.

Readers are encouraged to verify any claims or statements with credible sources and should not make any decisions based on the information provided here. This blog is not responsible for any actions taken based on its content. Always consult a qualified professional before making any financial or investment decisions.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

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