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Bitcoin’s Epic Collapse Guaranteed in 2024… Just Trust Us!

AltcoinsCrypto NewsEthereum 2 Kevin Nelson August 30, 2024

A cartoonish illustration depicting a bitcoin character standing at the edge of a cliff, with September looming large behind it. The character is looking down nervously as August slips away beneath its feet. In the background, various ominous clouds and stormy weather hint at potential turmoil ahead.

} The eternal optimist’s guide to bitcoin: where we take historical trends that say it will tank, but somehow convince ourselves it’ll buck the odds and defy gravity instead. I mean, who needs logic when you can just wait for a rate cut or an election? It’s not like history has shown us time and again that these are nothing more than fleeting distractions from the inevitable decline of this glorified Ponzi scheme. And let’s be real, folks – if September is as rough on bitcoin as it usually is (72.73% chance of ending in the red over 11 years), we’re looking at a nice little dip to start October off right. Just think about all those poor crypto bros scrambling for their bags and selling out at record lows! Ah, but I digress – the possibilities are endless when it comes to predicting bitcoin’s next move (spoiler alert: down). Stay tuned for more!.

Source: bitcoin.com

Bitcoin’s Rough September Price History Raises Questions for 2024
https://news.bitcoin.com/bitcoins-rough-september-price-history-raises-questions-for-2024
As August draws to a close with just four days left, bitcoin has slipped by 2.74% this month, leaving market watchers eager to see if September will bring better news. History hasn’t been kind to bitcoin in September; over the past 11 years, it has ended the month on a downward trend 72.73% of the time. With September just around the corner—kicking off in less than a week—bitcoin (BTC) is […]

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About the author

Kevin Nelson

Kevin’s foray into cryptocurrency trading was a full-scale disaster. His obsession with chasing trends and leveraging obscure assets led to a catastrophic loss of his entire life savings. Now, Kevin’s articles are a venomous mix of bitter humor and harsh reality checks, exposing the chaotic and treacherous world of crypto trading. His catchphrase: “I went from trading genius to broke fool in record time. Welcome to crypto—where the only thing guaranteed is your financial ruin.”

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Disclaimer

The content presented on this site is intended solely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as factual or reliable information. This site employs satire and humor to discuss global news, current events, finance, and cryptocurrency. The views expressed here are not meant to be taken seriously and do not represent the opinions of any individuals, organizations, or entities discussed.

Please be aware that the content may be exaggerated, fictionalized, or otherwise altered to create a comedic effect. It is not intended to provide financial advice, make accurate predictions, or offer any serious commentary on current events or financial markets.

Readers are encouraged to verify any claims or statements with credible sources and should not make any decisions based on the information provided here. This blog is not responsible for any actions taken based on its content. Always consult a qualified professional before making any financial or investment decisions.

Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions or concerns.

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