Why Bitcoin ETFs Are Still Winning (Because Everyone Else Is Too Stupid to Get Out)
Just when I thought it was safe to go back into the water... another day, another influx of gullible idiots throwing their money at Bitcoin ETFs […]
Sam Rogers
They’re Still Falling for It: Anchorage Digital Unleashes New ‘Opportunity’ to Watch Your Money Disappear With PayPal Stablecoin Yield!
You'd think that by now, the crypto bros would've learned not to throw good money after bad, but nope! They're still lining up like lemmings for […]
BREAKING: Cryptocurrency Firm That’s Probably Going to Get Hacked Partners With World-Famous Team Whose Financial Situation Is a Never-Ending Soap Opera!
Crypto Exchange Gate.io Secures Sponsorship Deal With Italian Soccer Giant Inter Milan - Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?.
You Won’t Believe the Absolute Brain-Deadness of People Who Just Lost $5 Million to a Pig Butchering Crypto Scam
You'd think that by now, people would've learned not to fall for those sappy romance scams where some smooth-talking crypto 'expert' woos them into investing in […]
BREAKING: The Apocalypse Has Arrived – Franklin Templeton Decides Your Life Savings Should Be Held Hostage by Blockchain
Franklin Templeton: Because Who Needs Traditional Finance When You Can Just Tokenize Everything?.
BREAKING: Crypto Bro’s Most Epic Prediction Yet – Will SOL Price FINALLY Skyrocket as TVL Hits 1-Year High?! (Spoiler Alert: We’ve Seen This Movie Before)
The perpetual optimism of crypto bros never ceases to amaze me. They're like the boy who cried wolf - always predicting that prices are about to […]
BIG TECH’S NEXT GET RICH QUICK SCHEME IS HERE! Robotics Revolution Will Change Everything (Probably Not)
The next 'big thing' in tech is always just around the corner, or so we're told. Robotics has been touted as the future for years now, […]
Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back in the Water: Another JPMorgan Report Confirms Your Grandma’s Investment Strategy Is Still Better Than Bitcoin Mining!
The never-ending saga of Bitcoin's existential crisis continues to unfold like a bad soap opera. It seems that even the most die-hard fans can't escape the […]
The One ETF to Rule Them All: VanEck Exec Hopes 2018 Fraud Case Will Finally Make Your Solana Investments Worth Something
You know what? This is just more proof that cryptocurrency and blockchain technology are a joke, especially when it comes to these fancy-schmancy ETFs. I mean, […]
Trader Gets Rich Overnight After Realizing Tron Is Still Somehow Relevant in 2023
Well well well, look who's at it again with their get-rich-quick schemes! Another Tron-based memecoin that nobody needs or wants has managed to make some poor […]
Bitcoin’s Hot Streak Continues to Melt Down Your Entire Life Savings
The never-ending circus that is crypto continues! We've got ETFs inflating like balloons at a children's birthday party - or should I say, deflating? Who needs […]
Franklin Templeton Invests Entire Life Savings in Avalanche Network Because Reasons
The crypto bros are at it again! This time they've convinced a major asset management firm like Franklin Templeton that blockchain is somehow revolutionary or innovative […]
Bitcoin ETFs Soar to New Heights While Ethereum Gets Left in the Dust With 77% Less Cash Flooding In
Well well well! Look at that - US bitcoin ETFs just can't get enough of each other's company (and by extension, their own inflated value). Meanwhile, […]
BNB Price Skyrockets Because Clearly the Only Thing That Matters Is Binance’s Unwavering Commitment to Being Sued by Investors
The reason we're talking about Binance's compliance team is because they've been sued by three crypto investors who claim their assets were stolen due to lack […]
Wyoming Blockchain Symposium VC Panel Reveals Secret Formula for Picking Guaranteed Winners in Cryptocurrency
Well isn't this just a bunch of rich guys talking about how great crypto is? I mean who doesn't love hearing from venture capitalists about their […]
Solana ETPs See $39M Outflow, Because Apparently Nobody Actually Believed in the SOL Price
Solana ETPs see a whopping $39 million outflow - Is this finally the top for SOL? It's about bloody time! The crypto market was bound to […]
Bitwise Buys European Company That Clearly Needed More Redundant Financial Products
You want me to write about Bitwise's expansion into Europe? Ha! They're just trying to ride the crypto gravy train while it lasts. I mean seriously, […]
US Bitcoin ETFs Now Own So Much BTC That They’re Pretty Sure Someone Will Figure Out What to Do With It Eventually
Well well well! Look who's getting all excited about some ETFs hoarding up nearly 1 million BTC - it seems like everyone wants to join the […]
State Street Launches Digital Asset Platform Because Institutional Clients Clearly Don’t Have Enough Problems Already
The latest news from State Street is a joke right? They're partnering up with Taurus to create some kind of digital asset platform for institutional clients […]
Judge Sets Oct 2025 Trial for Brothers Who Apparently Really Love Crypto So Much They Stole a Small Fortune From It
Let's talk about crypto love - the kind that gets your heart racing like watching paint dry or waiting in line at the DMV! It seems […]
Bitcoin’s Range-Bound Price Action Is Clearly the Result of an All-Powerful Alt-Emperor Ruling Over a Kingdom of Uncoordinated Cryptocurrencies
The cryptocurrency market is still in shambles after its recent collapse. Bitcoin (BTC) has been stuck in a range-bound price action for weeks, and altcoins like […]
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