BIG TECH’S NEXT GET RICH QUICK SCHEME IS HERE! Robotics Revolution Will Change Everything (Probably Not)
The next 'big thing' in tech is always just around the corner, or so we're told. Robotics has been touted as the future for years now, […]
Sam Rogers
Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back in the Water: Another JPMorgan Report Confirms Your Grandma’s Investment Strategy Is Still Better Than Bitcoin Mining!
The never-ending saga of Bitcoin's existential crisis continues to unfold like a bad soap opera. It seems that even the most die-hard fans can't escape the […]
The One ETF to Rule Them All: VanEck Exec Hopes 2018 Fraud Case Will Finally Make Your Solana Investments Worth Something
You know what? This is just more proof that cryptocurrency and blockchain technology are a joke, especially when it comes to these fancy-schmancy ETFs. I mean, […]
Trader Gets Rich Overnight After Realizing Tron Is Still Somehow Relevant in 2023
Well well well, look who's at it again with their get-rich-quick schemes! Another Tron-based memecoin that nobody needs or wants has managed to make some poor […]
Bitcoin’s Hot Streak Continues to Melt Down Your Entire Life Savings
The never-ending circus that is crypto continues! We've got ETFs inflating like balloons at a children's birthday party - or should I say, deflating? Who needs […]
Franklin Templeton Invests Entire Life Savings in Avalanche Network Because Reasons
The crypto bros are at it again! This time they've convinced a major asset management firm like Franklin Templeton that blockchain is somehow revolutionary or innovative […]
Bitcoin ETFs Soar to New Heights While Ethereum Gets Left in the Dust With 77% Less Cash Flooding In
Well well well! Look at that - US bitcoin ETFs just can't get enough of each other's company (and by extension, their own inflated value). Meanwhile, […]
BNB Price Skyrockets Because Clearly the Only Thing That Matters Is Binance’s Unwavering Commitment to Being Sued by Investors
The reason we're talking about Binance's compliance team is because they've been sued by three crypto investors who claim their assets were stolen due to lack […]
Wyoming Blockchain Symposium VC Panel Reveals Secret Formula for Picking Guaranteed Winners in Cryptocurrency
Well isn't this just a bunch of rich guys talking about how great crypto is? I mean who doesn't love hearing from venture capitalists about their […]
Solana ETPs See $39M Outflow, Because Apparently Nobody Actually Believed in the SOL Price
Solana ETPs see a whopping $39 million outflow - Is this finally the top for SOL? It's about bloody time! The crypto market was bound to […]
Bitwise Buys European Company That Clearly Needed More Redundant Financial Products
You want me to write about Bitwise's expansion into Europe? Ha! They're just trying to ride the crypto gravy train while it lasts. I mean seriously, […]
US Bitcoin ETFs Now Own So Much BTC That They’re Pretty Sure Someone Will Figure Out What to Do With It Eventually
Well well well! Look who's getting all excited about some ETFs hoarding up nearly 1 million BTC - it seems like everyone wants to join the […]
State Street Launches Digital Asset Platform Because Institutional Clients Clearly Don’t Have Enough Problems Already
The latest news from State Street is a joke right? They're partnering up with Taurus to create some kind of digital asset platform for institutional clients […]
Judge Sets Oct 2025 Trial for Brothers Who Apparently Really Love Crypto So Much They Stole a Small Fortune From It
Let's talk about crypto love - the kind that gets your heart racing like watching paint dry or waiting in line at the DMV! It seems […]
Bitcoin’s Range-Bound Price Action Is Clearly the Result of an All-Powerful Alt-Emperor Ruling Over a Kingdom of Uncoordinated Cryptocurrencies
The cryptocurrency market is still in shambles after its recent collapse. Bitcoin (BTC) has been stuck in a range-bound price action for weeks, and altcoins like […]
Crypto: Because Losing All Your Money Is the Best Investment Strategy Ever
Well, well, well! It seems like another day in crypto land where folks are just waiting for their lucky break or hoping that Bitcoin magically goes […]
Crypto Biz: Because Venture Capital Is Just a Fancy Way of Saying Someone Will Pay You to Not Go Bankrupt Immediately
The never-ending saga of cryptocurrency's greatest hits: Bitfarms gets bought out by Riot Platforms because apparently that's what happens when you're a struggling mining firm - […]
Crypto Bros Reveal Their Secret to Not Losing All Their Money (Yet): $36M Flocks to Bitcoin ETFs While Ethereum Funds Go Down in Flames
The never-ending saga of crypto bros throwing their money at anything that promises them riches. And what's more promising than Bitcoin ETFs? Apparently, they're like lottery […]
Crypto VCs Still Throwing Money at Blockchains Like It’s 2017 and They’re Not All Going to Die Alone
The perpetual optimism surrounding cryptocurrency is a never-ending wellspring of entertainment. Who needs actual value or substance when you can just print numbers on a computer […]
Hedge Funds Prove They’re Not as Smart as You Think by Pouring 6 Billion Dollars Into Something That’s Only Going to Make Elon Musk Richer
The eternal quest for institutional validation: it seems even hedge funds can't resist throwing their money at Bitcoin's sinking ship. A recent 13F filing analysis by […]
IMF Economists Shockingly Declare War on Crypto and AI by Proposing Electricity Tax: A Move So Bold It’ll Probably Be Overturned Immediately Because of Lobbying Fears
The IMF is finally catching on - those cryptocurrency bros are just a bunch of energy-guzzling numbskulls who can't stop whining about how they're being oppressed […]
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