10 Cryptocurrencies That Will Suddenly Skyrocket in Value While You’re Still Trying to Figure Out What a Bull Is
The Crypto Market: Where Bulls Run Wild, Bears Hibernate.
Kevin Nelson
Don’t Try This at Home: Woman’s Epic Fail to Off Someone With Bitcoin Lands Her an Impressive 8 Year Prison Sentence (You Won’t Believe What Happened Next)
It's a bloody miracle we don't hear about more murder-for-hire plots using cryptocurrency every day! I mean, what could possibly go wrong with transferring nearly $10,000 […]
$19,500 in Fine for One of the Worst Accounting Jobs Ever – You Won’t Believe Who Got Caught
The Crypto Circus Continues: Prager Metis Takes A $1.95M Fall From FTX Audit Failures.
700 German Banks Are Now Officially Insane: Joining the Crypto Party and Inviting Everyone to Lose Their Shirt!
The Crypto Bro's latest wet dream comes true: 700 German banks to offer cryptocurrency trading because who wouldn't want a piece of that action? Boerse Stuttgart […]
Crypto: Because Being Used by Crooks Is Totally Normal in the Early Stages of Growth!
Yes, because nothing says 'early stages of growth' like being used by crooks, scammers, and gullible idiots who think they can get rich quick with their […]
US Government Launches Desperate Rescue Mission: Binance Employee Trapped in Nigeria, Malaria Threat Looms!
It looks like Binance's favorite employee Tigran Gambaryan is in hot water... again. But this time it's not just about being a crypto bro who can't […]
ChatGPT Suddenly Remembers Our Entire Existence, Probably Because It Has Been Upgraded Again
The Magic Show Continues: OpenAI's Latest Upgrade to ChatGPT.
Brazilian Justice Smashes Starlink and X: $3 Million Fine Pays Off, but Can They Survive the Shame?
Just when you thought Elon's Starlink and X were just a couple of overpriced space junk ventures with questionable business models, they get themselves into some […]
ALTCOINS: Prepare for Armageddon as ‘Substantial Bull Market’ Becomes Only Thing Standing Between You and Certain Financial Ruin — Analyst
Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the crypto market... Along comes another analyst predicting doom and gloom for altcoins unless they […]
Ethereum Plummets Into Abyss of Despair as Trump Assassination Attempt and Rate Cuts Conspire Against It: Is the End Nigh?!?
The eternal dance of FUD, rate cuts and attempted assassinations - it's a wonder Ether hasn't imploded into nothingness yet. The price tumbles 6% because... well, […]
SEC Blames Us, Not Their 200-Year-Old Dictionary for Token Securitization Fiasco
SEC 'regrets any confusion' from dubbing tokens as securities: filing? More like SEC regrets getting caught red-handed for being a bunch of bureaucratic buffoons who can't […]
BREAKING: Etoro Gets Sued by Grandma, Fined $1.5M for Not Doing What They Were Already Told to Do With Their Crypto Stuff (Spoiler Alert: It’s a Real Shock)
Yet another cryptocurrency company gets spanked by the SEC for operating outside the law. Who'd have thought? Not me, certainly not after writing about this nonsense […]
Grayscale’s Latest Masterstroke: We’re Allowing You to Bet Your Life Savings on a Single Currency That Might Not Exist Tomorrow
Grayscale Launches XRP Trust: Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong?.
Get Ready to Lose Your Shirt as Eve Frontier’s in-Game Economy Unleashes a Torrent of New and Exciting Ways for Crypto Investors to Suffer
The Eve Frontier Blockchain Scam: Because You Clearly Want More Ways for Cryptos to Fail.
BREAKING: Another Cryptocurrency Exchange That Will Probably Get Shut Down Achieves Milestone, Because Why Not?
BREAKING: Another 'major milestone' achieved by a cryptocurrency exchange that's still not worth anything! Because what the world really needed was another licensed platform for speculating […]
Buckle Up: UAE Launches Initiative to Turn Crypto Market Into a Thrilling Game of Regulatory Roulette
The UAE's latest attempt to become a crypto hub: because what could possibly go wrong? The country has just partnered with regulators SCA and VARA to […]
BREAKING: SEC Declares Crypto Bro Dreams Officially Dead, Confirms Tokens Are Actually Just Stocks in Disguise
The eternal struggle between regulators trying to make sense of cryptocurrency and crypto bros who are still convinced they're going to get rich quick by trading […]
Wake Up, Sheeple! Trump’s New Crypto Platform Is Coming… And It’ll Probably All Go Terribly Wrong on September 16
The Emperor's New Clothes: Donald Trump Launches Crypto Platform Because Who Needs Regulation Anyway?.
Bitcoin Investors: Because Who Needs Savings Accounts When You Can Watch Your Money Get Eaten by a Magic Computer Program?
The never-ending saga of cryptocurrency investors throwing their money at a product with no inherent value continues to captivate us all. It's like watching a train […]
The SHOCKING TRUTH ABOUT STABLECOINS WILL LEAVE YOU SPEECHLESS! (Spoiler Alert: They’re Actually Used for Stuff)
The Stablecoin Scam: Because Who Needs Real Money Anyway?.
Buckle Up Buttercup! Expert Predicts You Will Lose All Your Money on the Next Big Market Boom… Said No One Ever!
The Great Cryptocurrency Concoction.
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