BREAKING: Another Excuse for the 99% to Invest Their Entire Life Savings Into a Hope and Pray Strategy
The Never-Ending Saga of Crypto Options: Because Who Needs Actual Value Anyway?.
Kevin Nelson
Bitcoin’s Epic Collapse Guaranteed in 2024… Just Trust Us!
} The eternal optimist's guide to bitcoin: where we take historical trends that say it will tank, but somehow convince ourselves it'll buck the odds and […]
TeraWulf Launches New Bitcoin Mining Facility Because Clearly We Haven’t Solved Global Energy Crisis Yet, Also Wants to Be Best Friends With Tech Giants (Please)
Just when I thought the crypto market had hit rock bottom (which is probably still true), along comes TeraWulf with its latest attempt to convince us […]
TON CRASH: Is Pavel Durov’s Arrest the End of Telegram Crypto or Just a Minor Speed Bump on Road to Riches (Probably Not)
Just when you thought Telegram was all about sending risqué memes and dodgy cat pictures, along comes Toncoin's CEO Pavel Durov getting arrested for data privacy […]
Telegram Founder Pavel Durov Detained, Because You Know What They Say About Free Speech
Just when you thought it was safe to go back online... Pavel Durov's detention has got everyone buzzing like a crypto bro at a Bitcoin conference […]
I Just Lost My Entire Life Savings to a Magic Number on the Internet and I’m Lovin’ It!
PayPal's PYUSD: Because Who Needs a Real Bank When You Can Have Numbers on a Computer?.
BREAKING: Bitcoin Sets New Records of Utter Futility as Top Ten Busiest Days Ever Occur in Year That’s Still Pretty Early, Congrats to All the Suckers Who Finally Figured Out How to Use It!
Crypto bros rejoice! Bitcoin's transaction volumes have reached all-time highs and I'm sure that means it's finally time to get rich quick, right? Wrong. As usual, […]
ETH CRASH PREDICTION CONFIRMED: You Won’t Believe the Shocking Reason Behind 40 Months of Unrelenting Despair (Hint: It’s Not Just a Coin)
The Ethereum slump: Because who needs inherent value when you can have nothing?.
Zuckerberg and Spotify Founder Join Forces to Save Europe From Regulatory Madness, Because You Know What They Say: ‘The Best Way to Predict the Future Is to Invent It… But Only if We’re Allowed To
Just when you thought cryptocurrency was a never-ending dumpster fire of scams and get-rich-quick schemes, along comes Mark Zuckerberg advocating for something that actually makes sense […]
Buenos Aires High Schools Now Teaching Students How to Lose Their Life Savings on Cryptocurrency Because Who Needs Basic Education Anyway?
Argentina's Ministry of Education has decided that the best way to prepare its students for a future filled with crippling debt and economic uncertainty is by […]
You Won’t Believe the Shocking Reason Why Telegram Is Being Hunted by Indian Authorities Right Now
The Cryptocurrency Circus: Telegram Under Investigation in India.
You Won’t Believe These 9 Crypto Projects Are Actually Real (Spoiler Alert: They’re Not)
The Cryptocurrency Circus: A Never-Ending Parade of Absurdity.
$623 Billion Later: Crypto Market Still Not Rich, Somehow Remains Popular (What’s Wrong With You People?!)
The crypto market's latest surge has got me thinking: have these people finally realized that their get-rich-quick schemes won't actually make them rich? Or is it […]
Wyoming to Launch ‘Groundbreaking’ Stablecoin That Will Definitely Not Be a Total Financial Disaster in Q1 2025!
You know what they say: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And if that doesn't work out, just create a stablecoin and pretend it's the […]
BREAKING: SOL Price Jumps 1000% Overnight, Still Has No Idea What It’s Doing
The Solana Saga: A Wild Ride to Nowhere (Again).
$2.5 Million Down the Drain: Billionaire Bails Out Another Bitcoin Fad, Proving He Has No Shame (Or a Pulse)
Not another cryptocurrency 'innovation' to line Tim Draper's pockets. Because what we really need is more ways for people to waste their money on imaginary numbers […]
YOU WON’T BELIEVE the Crypto Exchange That Just Got Sued by a Bunch of Outraged Australians… Guess Who It Is!
Not another one bites the dust! It seems like every other week we're reading about some cryptocurrency exchange getting fined by a regulatory body for its […]
Martin Shkreli: The Original Art Thief Has Been Stopped… Again (For Now)
The eternal struggle between those who think they own art and can dictate how it's used versus those who just want to use it for their […]
Tether Says No to Blockchain Launch: We’re Too Cool for Our Own Technology
There's nothing quite like watching cryptocurrency companies eat their own lunch. I mean, who needs your own blockchain when you can just use someone else's? Paolo […]
Nvidia Earnings Call: Analysts Lose Minds, Predict Company Will Suddenly Turn Into Actual Moon and Merge With Sun to Become $10 Trillion Dollar Ball of Fire Within Five Years!
Analysts are going gaga about Nvidia's upcoming earnings call, predicting record-breaking profits and revenue. Because what could possibly go wrong with a company whose value is […]
It Can Only Go Up… Again!: The Mysterious Connection Between Rate Cuts and Crypto Bull Markets That Will Blow Your Mind (And Probably Not Happen This Time)
Rate cuts? More like Rate-sets-for-a-bull-market-gold-rush! The crypto bros are salivating at the prospect of another interest rate cut, and I'm here to tell you it's all […]
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