You Won’t Believe These 9 Crypto Projects Are Actually Real (Spoiler Alert: They’re Not)
The Cryptocurrency Circus: A Never-Ending Parade of Absurdity.
Kevin Nelson
$623 Billion Later: Crypto Market Still Not Rich, Somehow Remains Popular (What’s Wrong With You People?!)
The crypto market's latest surge has got me thinking: have these people finally realized that their get-rich-quick schemes won't actually make them rich? Or is it […]
Wyoming to Launch ‘Groundbreaking’ Stablecoin That Will Definitely Not Be a Total Financial Disaster in Q1 2025!
You know what they say: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And if that doesn't work out, just create a stablecoin and pretend it's the […]
BREAKING: SOL Price Jumps 1000% Overnight, Still Has No Idea What It’s Doing
The Solana Saga: A Wild Ride to Nowhere (Again).
$2.5 Million Down the Drain: Billionaire Bails Out Another Bitcoin Fad, Proving He Has No Shame (Or a Pulse)
Not another cryptocurrency 'innovation' to line Tim Draper's pockets. Because what we really need is more ways for people to waste their money on imaginary numbers […]
YOU WON’T BELIEVE the Crypto Exchange That Just Got Sued by a Bunch of Outraged Australians… Guess Who It Is!
Not another one bites the dust! It seems like every other week we're reading about some cryptocurrency exchange getting fined by a regulatory body for its […]
Martin Shkreli: The Original Art Thief Has Been Stopped… Again (For Now)
The eternal struggle between those who think they own art and can dictate how it's used versus those who just want to use it for their […]
Tether Says No to Blockchain Launch: We’re Too Cool for Our Own Technology
There's nothing quite like watching cryptocurrency companies eat their own lunch. I mean, who needs your own blockchain when you can just use someone else's? Paolo […]
Nvidia Earnings Call: Analysts Lose Minds, Predict Company Will Suddenly Turn Into Actual Moon and Merge With Sun to Become $10 Trillion Dollar Ball of Fire Within Five Years!
Analysts are going gaga about Nvidia's upcoming earnings call, predicting record-breaking profits and revenue. Because what could possibly go wrong with a company whose value is […]
It Can Only Go Up… Again!: The Mysterious Connection Between Rate Cuts and Crypto Bull Markets That Will Blow Your Mind (And Probably Not Happen This Time)
Rate cuts? More like Rate-sets-for-a-bull-market-gold-rush! The crypto bros are salivating at the prospect of another interest rate cut, and I'm here to tell you it's all […]
China’s Highest Court Suddenly Discovers Cryptocurrency Is a Haven for Crooks
And here we go again! China's Supreme Court is finally catching up with what has been obvious since Bitcoin was first created: cryptocurrency is a scammer’s […]
Cardano ADA Price Spikes Mysteriously for Reasons Nobody Can Explain and Everyone Should Invest Immediately
The price is up because some people think it's going up? Classic crypto bro reasoning here. You'd be surprised how well that works on gullible idiots […]
Tether Launches New Stablecoin That Won’t Single-Handedly Cause Another Global Economic Collapse Anytime Soon With UAE Partners
Crypto bros are at it again! They're always touting the next big thing in cryptocurrency - stablecoins pegged to whatever fiat currency is hot right now […]
Blockchain Startup Secures 80 Million Dollars and Suddenly Everyone’s an Expert on the Future of Decentralized Everything
Ahahahaha! Here we go again - another overhyped blockchain startup trying to make a buck off of naive investors who think that "Web3" is more than […]
BTC Plummets to Earthly Depths as Entire Market Unravels in Cataclysmic Collapse of Epic Proportions
The cryptocurrency market is a wild ride full of ups and downs that make your head spin! It's like trying to predict which way a cat […]
Cardano Abandoned by God: Left to Rot Alone While Tron Continues Its Meteoric Rise to World Domination
Cardano (ADA), once a darling among crypto enthusiasts, has lost its spot in the top 10 cryptocurrencies by market capitalization - what a shocker! It's not […]
Ether Is a Total Loss at $2.6K Because It’s Clearly Doomed
It seems like crypto enthusiasts are having a field day trying to predict when Ether will stop plummeting. According to some experts, we're in the 'late […]
Crypto Bro Billionaire Predicts 90% Chance of Winning at Dice Game Against Actual Regulators
The crypto bros are at it again, spewing their trademarked brand of ignorance and hubris about cryptocurrency law. This time, they're gloating over a court ruling […]
Cryptocurrency Community Abuzz With Excitement as Another Token Gets Added to a Blockchain That Will Probably Just Get Hacked Anyway
Because I'm sure you're all on the edge of your seats waiting for more news about cryptocurrency's never-ending parade of self-serving announcements, let me tell you […]
Crypto Bros Unleash Frenzied Predictions After Brief Momentary Increase in Gold Prices Causes Sudden Onset of Collective Amnesia Regarding Previous 10 Years of Market Performance
The eternal optimism of crypto bros never ceases to amuse me. Fred Krueger and Jack Mallers spewing forth their latest hot takes about gold's bull run […]
You Just Won’t Believe the Jaw-Dropping Price Swings of These 10 Utterly Meaningless Digital Tokens That Are Literally Worth Less Than a Sack of Potatoes
The thrill of watching a bunch of rich guys bet their money on digital tokens with no intrinsic value never gets old! It's like watching a […]
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