Bombshell! Meta’s Next-Gen Headset Axed in Bizarre Twist of Fate, Leaving Millions to Wonder if They’ve Been Scammed Into Buying Overpriced Glasses for Their Face!
Meta's Metaverse Mishap: A Cautionary Tale of Overhyping VR.
Doug Martinez
BREAKING: Because You Clearly Haven’t Suffered Enough, Crypto Insanity Continues as Magic Eden Unleashes New Token to Make Cross-Chain Trading Even More Confusing!
The never-ending saga of cryptocurrency's wild west continues. Magic Eden is launching a new token called ME to facilitate cross-chain trading because what the world really […]
You Won’t Believe the Utter Catastrophe That’s Ruining Web3 Adoption – It Has NOTHING to Do With Crypto Prices or Regulatory Headaches
The Web3 Wallet Woes: Because Who Needs Simple When You Can Have Seed Phrases?.
BREAKING: Sony Creates New Blockchain Because Who Needs Actual Value When You Can Just Make Up a Web3 Buzzword?
Well, it looks like the Emperor's New Clothes are getting a blockchain makeover - Sony is launching its very own layer-2 blockchain called Soneium because apparently […]
BREAKING: Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough Stablecoins Yet, Another One Is Coming to Ruin Your Life
So, because we all know that what's missing from our lives is another stablecoin, Progmat and Japanese entertainment giant DMM Group have decided to join forces […]
$24 Million Dollar NFT Sale Proves Once and for All That the Entire Crypto Market Is a Flavorless, Overpriced Soufflé
The CryptoPunk That Couldn't: $24M Sale Shows Even The Rich Can Get Poor.
Trump Launches New Crypto Scheme Because Clearly He Has No Other Ideas Left
Well well well, look who's jumping on the cryptocurrency bandwagon - it seems even Donald Trump can't resist the allure of getting rich quick and fleecing […]
BREAKING NEWS! You Won’t Believe What Just Happened to the Guy Who Promised Us Endless Freedom on the Internet
Telegram's Durov Arrested: Because Nothing Says 'Freedom' Like Being Locked Up in a French Jail Cell.
Crypto Bros Launch Insane New Scheme: ‘Proof-of-Ink’ Will Make Your Web3 Dreams Come True… Or Maybe Just Take All Your Money
Crypto bros can't even get a tattoo right - they're launching 'Proof-of-Ink' to supposedly boost Web3 adoption? What's the point of having digital individuality if you […]
BREAKING: KRACKEN JUST GOT PWND BY THE MAN – Supreme Court Ruling DOOMS Cryptocurrency Forever
One of these things is going to be a security... eventually.
YOU WON’T BELIEVE the Shocking Reason Why This AI Company Just Gave Away 10 MILLION DOLLARS to Struggling Startups
Fetch.ai: Because Who Needs Real Value When You Can Have Artificial Intelligence?.
Synthetix Resorts to Desperate Measures: Because What’s a Few More Worthless Tokens Among Friends?
One would think that the crypto bros have finally realized their shiny new toys don't actually bring them any value beyond what they paid for it. […]
India’s Crypto Consultation Paper Is Coming for You and Your Bitcoins Will Be Taken Away Forever, Probably
India's Crypto Consultation Paper: Because You Can't Fool All The People All The Time (But It'll Be Fun Trying).
Hong Kong Lawmaker Discovers Existence of Web3, Demands Adults Be Put in Charge Immediately
The blockchain bubble is bursting already? How delightful! It seems like those naive crypto bros are finally getting a taste of reality. A Hong Kong lawmaker […]
Prometheum Just Declared UNI, and ARB Are Securities Now Because Clearly 2023 Has Been All About Adulting Your Crypto
Prometheum's announcement that they're going to add UNI, and ARB as securities has me scratching my head - what next? Are we gonna start seeing Bitcoin […]
I Made Millions Trading Bitcoin but Then I Discovered My True Calling: Being Poor and Eating Ramen Noodles for Every Meal, It’s a Real Thing
The crypto bros really have no idea what they're doing when it comes to trading do they? First off, let me just say that being an […]
Liquid Restaking Token of Doom: Because You Clearly Haven’t Learned From Your Previous 17 Crypto Disasters
YieldNest is at it again. Launching a new liquid restaking token called ynLSDe because apparently people still want to play with fire despite all the warnings […]
FTX Creditors Prove Once and for All That Even When You’ve Lost Everything, a 5% Chance Is Still Better Than No Chance at All
FTX: because who needs to be solvent when you can declare bankruptcy and still get people to vote with their wallets? I mean, it's not like […]
ME Token Launch Signals End of Civilization as We Know It
Here we go again with another token launch because the world is clearly missing one more cryptocurrency to get rich quick on. The ME Foundation thinks […]
Aptos Foundation Teams Up With Web3 Streaming Platform Because Clearly What the World Needs Is Another Useless Token to Clutter Our Already Overcrowded Inboxes of Despair
The world is full of idiots who can’t see the writing on the wall, folks! Cryptocurrency enthusiasts are still clutching onto their worthless coins like they're […]
Crypto Bank Execs Suffer Existential Crisis After Their Friends Steal Everyone’s Info and Get Caught by Regulators
The crypto bros are really getting burned now! Three execs at a bank that's friendly with cryptocurrency have left their jobs due to regulatory crackdowns - […]
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