$64 Million Crypto Heist Mastermind Unmasked (But Probably Not Before You Lost Your Shirt)

It looks like another genius crypto bro got caught trying to scam his way to riches! Geoffrey K. Auyeung, a 46-year-old Washington resident, has been charged with running a $64 million cryptocurrency laundering scheme that would put even the most seasoned grifter to shame. He allegedly posed as an escrow agent for oil and gas investments (because what’s more legitimate than investing in something you know nothing about?), only to transfer his victims’ funds into accounts under his control, where they were promptly converted into cryptocurrencies like bitcoin and ethereum via exchanges like Gemini, Bitstamp, Coinbase, and Binance. Because who needs actual value or security when you can just make some numbers on a computer appear out of thin air? The authorities have traced $64 million flowing through 74 bank accounts tied to Auyeung’s scheme, with $2.3 million already seized (but let’s be real, that’s probably just the tip of the iceberg). And if all this sounds like a rerun from last week’s crypto bro fail parade, it’s because we’ve seen this same tired script played out time and again in the world of cryptocurrency: some schmuck tries to scam his way rich, gets caught, and everyone loses their shirt. Stay tuned for more! .